Basically most of my English dept were a bunch of cunts
I have a sneaking suspicion that at least 1 b3tan went to my school so im getting in there before he does. Names are changed.

Mr Mack. English teacher who would insist on reading out texts to the whole class. This made shakespearian plays somewhat tiresome as you7 would sit there for days on end listening to his dull monotone. But all Eng teachers do that. All eng teachers are not, however, profoundly dyslexic. "Now is the... win-ter... of our discontinent - dis...content, sorry, made... glorious summer..."

He would stand at the front rocking back and forth in such a way it was essentially pelvic thrusting wild doing his (poor) reading. I complained after he accidentally caught me on the side of the face one day as he did it over my desk.

Helater took to crouching when talking to pupils at desks, but resting his bollocks on thw corner of the table as he did so. so we used to chalk it, so he'd have big chalk marks on his crotch and look like he'd been clawing himself all day.

Bizarrely he was sent on a teacher exchange program to Canada. I'm so sorry Canada.

And the head of Dept that hired the above teacher, Dr Smith. Dr Smith clearly hates children and won his job as some sort of "Kids are cunts" club booby prize. Although every Red Nose day he would come in dressed as a clown, but due to his almost constant frown, it was like being taught by Pennywise from "It". He had the individual desks arranged in groups of 4 at perfect 45 degree angles to each other, and would often issue punishment essays if the angles were fouled in some way. This was checked with a protractor.

He was born with a congenital deformity on his hand, which meant he only had 2 fingers and a thumb, and would often tell the class he would be back in 5 minutes, accompanied with appropriate hand signal, despite only showing 3 digits.

He would often study Wilfred Owen's Dulce Et Decorum Est but would tippex the line "obscene as cancer" because it was inappropriate, despite the poem's graphic description of someone dying during a gas attack.

Ms Janson. Old, fat and possibly a lesbian due to the outrageous favouritism of the fairer sex. I had english in her room the period after lunch (fortunately not with her, but the one good english teacher) so left my bag in her room. Wheni returned for said class, someone had hidden my bag. After an hour's worth of searching, and the rector issuing a memo to all classes that theft would not be tolerated, i began to suspect Ms J. I was told i was being fatuous, but that remark was hastily withdrawn when one of my favourite teacher spotted my bag hastily crammed behind the water cooler in the staffroom.

Ms J would also regularly issue the gents wih arbitrary punishments "for being boys, and being stupid"

As i mentioned her somewhat rotund figure, Ms J insisted on using the lift to get to the eng dept on the 3rd floor. She said it was because she had a bad hip; 1000 pupils and 60 staff members said it's cos she was a big fat fuck.
(Rushy, Wed 9 Nov 2005, 20:39, Reply)