Mr Sammonds, crazy Valley racist.
In our school (I won't name it just incase - but it's in Newport and once had the slogan 'The Best School In Western Europe', I kid you not) there was one man who attained Legendary status. That man was the biology teacher, Mr Sammonds.*

For background I'll let you know that I was in school in the early-nineties. Mr Sammonds was clearly oblivious to this though as he'd religiously wear the same seventies high-top trousers and tweed blazer every day come rain, hail or shine. He was possessed of the greatest lamb-chop sideburns ever known, he looked like a Valleys version of WWF wrestler 'The Honky Tonk Man'. He was also one of those teachers so known for spectacularly blowing their top that they inspired not just respect but outright awe.
There are several instances where pupils would be left quivering and spittle-flecked following an up-close, red-faced, bellowing admonishment for getting things wrong. He had a string of stupid put-down phrases such as "Coo, that's a big word, like Elephant or Marmalade" or "sharp as an egg". He never learnt our names, referring to each of us by primary characteristics ("Carrot-Top" (a ginge), "Noddy" (had big ears), "Wobble-face" (was fat) and "The Guv'nor" (apparently for being the governor of all the shit in the land)were the most memorable) but the day poor James Hammet* forgot his homework was the clincher.
James was black. Thus Mr. Sammonds use to call him 'Jungle Bunny' or, in times of extreme endearment, 'Mowgli'. On that day though, in a fit of apoplectic rage, Mr Sammonds took to doing 'comedy' Indian accents and shouting "What's that Kemosabe? White Man speak with forked tongue". Before finishing his sentence with the shameful "Bud-Bud-ding-ding!"

I heard he got sacked a few years later for an affair with a sixth-former.

The crazy cradle-snatching racist.

*The names have been changed to protect the innocent and idiotic
(R. Jimlad twitter.com/sirmarkymark, Thu 10 Nov 2005, 14:36, Reply)