bemmer & bowen
i went to a faintly absurd school buried amongst some trees in deepest wales. dylan thomas went there a long time ago, so it had been a vv good place, but by the time i was there it sucked ass.

bemmer was a typical sad case english teacher. balding, somewhat beige who still lived with his mum despite being in his 40s. he was primarily tormented by threats of setting off the airbags in his brand new mondeo - the pride of his life. he was a sound chap though.

bowen was a dwarfish chemistry teacher, who despite being no taller than a pygmy rhesus monkey referred to all his pupils as 'my little friends' & was somewhat barking... never actually did anything certifiable, but his eyes were weird.

some of my friends wrote a comic book & 6th form play based around their crime fighting adventures with lovejoy & clement freud. bemmer read it & almost cried.

we also had an english teacher who'd done catalogue pants modelling in her uni days for cash. there was proof & she was as hot as hot can be.

a maths teacher mrs moody had her handbag raided when she was out of the room by kids. a vibrator was found. this was not forgotten.

we had a family of teachers - both physics - the dowds. they were the most orange people of all time & deeply crap teachers. both complete giants, tall & hugely obese. they had a similarly coloured & built daughter in my year as well.

we had the usual collection of alcoholics & reprobates as well.
(Lord of the Pies, Thu 10 Nov 2005, 16:02, Reply)