So so many.
History teacher: Would spend many a lesson telling us about his son's birth and how the doctors had to grab the baby by the head with a huge pair of plyers up his wife's fanny. Awesome man.

Substitute PSE teacher: Started a lesson with each desk having a piece of scrap paper screwed up in a ball. Then he made us have a paper fight. We all threw our paper balls at him.

Chemistry Teacher: Got one student to fill his mouth with bicarbonate of soda. Then told him to wash his mouth out with a shot of vinegar he had prepared. The poor kid nearly suffocated with all the foam. Awesome man!

English teacher: Would make students who didn't bring their homeworks in go to the class next door and sing their favourite nursery rhyme. Excellent!

Cooking Teacher: Sent me out of every lesson for being cheeky. One memorable incident was when making Rock Buns. I called mine "Chocolate Surprise".
"What is the surprise", she asked.
"I forgot to bring chocolate".
"Go stand outside" - She was a bitch.

Geography teacher: "I'll be back in 10 minutes. I had 10 pints last night, a kebab and I think my arse in gonna explode" - excellent man.

Business Studies teacher: Told us that when he was 15 he used to take cocaine every night. He said it was harmless and told us how great it was. Excellent man.

RE Teacher: Told us that religion was a load of bollocks -yes, her actual words and the only reason she taught it was because of the £24k a year and 13 weeks paid holiday. Lovely woman.

P.E. Teacher: Told us the names of the sixth form girls that he wouldn't mind shagging. Excellent man!

Music teacher: Was fit as fuck and about 27 years old. Told us that she had a boob job that cost her the best part of £10k and one lesson exclaimed "I'm gonna go home, go to town and get shagged!" - This was to a year 8 class.

Our school got quite a good OfSTED report too!

/edit

Another RE Teacher: Was incredibly Christian. We were asked to write about the first 7 days (you know, that story in the Bible). He gave me a detention because I drew a picture of God turning night into day by switching a light bulb on!! We would wind him up by saying "Jesus Christ!" when something mildly shocking happened. Oh, and he asked us all what religion we were. Most said athiest, Muslim or Christian. I said "Devil Worshipping". I got sent out!
(wonderbrawl was pronounced dead on, Sat 12 Nov 2005, 0:36, Reply)