Christ, where to start....
... Alcoholic Business Studies teacher with a spectacular glowing nose who used to sit there and play solitaire on his laptop for an hour because he was too hungover to teach us. Got annoyed one day when kid he'd sent out the room opened the door and said 'if you're stuck sir you can move that red seven.'

Strangely odd and pervy P.E/Maths teacher who would often refuse to let us shower after sport and then refuse to open the windows in maths class after, saying 'What's wrong with the rugged smell of man boys? What's wrong with the rugged smell of man?'

Art teacher who was jailed for 'antics' with two students, aged 14 and 15 respectively.

Old headmaster sacked for embezzlement.

Different maths teacher who I'm convinced had a drugs problem as he often did nothing apart from lock himself in the store cupboard after coming in in the same clothes all week. You could sometimes hear him crying. For some reason I got 4% on my exam in maths that year.

Physics teacher who you could distract for weeks on end by asking him to tell you about trucks. It was his hobby.

But my favourite has to be a different physics teacher who started his own website that contained the local table tennis league tables, a guide to every pub in town rated purely on number of car parking spaces available, and his own personal theory of how the universe started. A year after I left he got a job at NASA. Or some other such improbable-sounding place.

I miss school sometimes.
(spangledonkey I've got a mouse. His name is Gerald., Sat 12 Nov 2005, 13:22, Reply)