A difficult choice...
Where to start? Well, at junior school we had a regular supply teacher who used to rest her preposterously large jugs on her desk (she was very elderly, unfortunately). Moving on, senior school was chock-full of them. There was a full-on paedophile who got done for it, one who got caught trying to import porn of the nature that will get you arrested if you try to import it, several alcoholics, two breakdowns that I know of (one of which was largely our fault, admittedly, but the guy was a tool so we didn’t care. He 'went off sick' after Easter in our GCSE year and his replacement realised that he hadn't taught 25% of the course. cheers?!).
Another chap of dubious interests (if anyone remembers the greasy choir master from the vicar of Dibley, I’d swear they were twins) who used to 'accidentally' drop his pen next to girls' desks so that he had to bend down and pick it up (there was also a strong rumour that he'd actually done something rather inappropriate with a 6th form girl), both our art teachers had clearly done some pretty funky stuff in their youth and were permanently in their own little world.
I think that's about it... oh wait, the caretaker from junior school was rumoured to have links to some fairly shady characters, and that his job was a way of looking legit and staying off police radar. oh and the woodwork guys at senior school had a sofa and a stash of page 3 stuff in their wood loft, but somehow nothing was ever done about this, even though we knew the other staff members knew about it. Maybe they had some leverage, who knows? Actually, given the rest of the staff that is pretty likely. oh and I almost forgot the senile biology teacher - we got up to so much in her classes without her noticing, like setting fire to our hands, filling people's pockets with water, making mini flamethrowers using gas taps and syringes, that kind of thing. Anyhoo, one lesson she spilled a shitload of full-on 100% ethanol all over her desk. can you guess what's coming next? That’s right, she lit a match. BIG f-off flames that scorched the ceiling and took all the lovely chocolate brown paint off the desk. priceless.
Right, I think that is about it now, I’ll post some more if I remember them. Given the number above, there’s bound to be some.


So all in all, it's kinda difficult to pick out my weirdest teacher.

(usual length, girth, radius of curvature etc. comment)
(jonh, Wed 16 Nov 2005, 12:47, Reply)