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This is a question Why should you be fired from your job?

I spent three years "working" in the Ministry of Agriculture carefully crafting projectiles out of folded paper and drawing pins that I would then fire at colleagues with an elastic band. On discovering I'd been conducting all-out warfare when I should really have been in a field counting cows, I was asked to "reconsider my career options" outside the service.

Why, then, should you be fired from your job?

(, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 13:04)
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Video Nasties
I used to work for a well known video rental company which shall remain nameless cuz i know damn well that one of the ex employees will probably be reading this but Ill give you a clue, its not Blockbuster.

I should have been fired for many a reason but strangely always got away scot free, might have had something to do with the manager being one of my closest friends but the area m anager on the other hand ooooooh what a prick of the highest order.

Basically the deal with me and the boss was I could get away with anything aslong as it wasnt theft and i opened the store up for him when he was hungover which to be honest was very rare and he always gave me fair warning.

So yeah where shall I start with the shenanigans,
1 - coke can roulette, a random can was picked from the fridge and shaken vigourously for a few hours and then placed back in the fridge and taking bets on how long it would be until said can was opened and the customer got drenched,
2 - opening new accounts and placing comments that only the staff could see, stuff like "MIIIIILF", "It would be rude not to", and "This guy only watched films up to the mucky bit then brings them back looking sheepish" and obligatory "WAN-KAAAAAAAAH"
3 - on incredibly slow days placing adult videos in cases that where being rented for kids and vice versa kids film in the perv boxes (i dare to think how many cases of kiddie fiddling we may have caused with that one)
4 - Video case baseball which is exactly how it sounds.
5 - ordering takeout from the pizza place two doors down and getting them to deliver it.
6 - Having competitions to see who could turn up the latest and stil get paid, my mate Tim won by turning up five minutes before his shift was due to finish walking in making a mug of coffee then walking straight out again.
7 - A picture of the regional managers face placed on a donkey with various changable speach balloons
8 - Racking up insanely igh fines on ex girlfriends accounts or other people who had crossed me or a friend.

They're just the regular occurances, the cream of naughtiness had to be after being asked to fill in one new years day for a store in Leeds, not a problem says I and off colleague and I go down the motorway.
Halfway there the phone rings and its the area twunt explaining the situation with the no show staff, Then colleague told me what had happened , queue me to try and get out the car while it was still moving down.

Turns out the day before the store had been held up at gunpoint and robbed, the store got ransacked, but strangely the police hadnt been yet to take statements (as i said new years day, I imagine they where all hungover) so we werent to touch anything, all good and well but how the company was expecting
us to run the store in that state was beyond us, luckily with being new years the store was dead, I must have served one person and even then im sure i imagined it.

So the day goes on we realise no ones comign in for videos so colleague decides we should order take out just like back home, this time we managed to charge it to the company so a family sized meal each followed by whatever else we fancied, now by this point the police still hadnt been round to check the tapes for footage of what had gone on so colleague then jokes we should fill the boot of te car up with stock seeing as no one really knows what gone missing, so we did tne boxes of haagen daz and ben and jerrys icecream, god knows how many crates of coke and sprite, bags of popcorn the most recent releases on dvd and playstation and much much more and we got away with the bloody thing to, plus we where getting paid 200 quid on top of what wed normally have recieved for working that day, how i was gutted when i decided to leave the company.

I left because some twat was ripping the company off more than colleague and I were but using my password on the system to give credit to customers accounts so when they paid with their hard earned cash and it was put through the system the computer read it as though they hadnt passed any money on to us but everything was balancing in the til, this was going on for three months in which time whoever was doing it had managed to nab over three grand.

The fact that the area manage thought the password system was foolproof amazed me, as your password was only your sodding initials, the fact that a few weeks before the money started disappearing the area manage had hired some bloke whod just been released from prison for fraud and theft and god knows what else and id had a run in with him, didnt take sherlock holmes to find out who it was that was doing it, but no cuz area twat makes no mistakes it couldnt possibly be Mr Criminal at all could it nooooooooooo.

SO i decided to leave after writing an incredibly snotty letter to the managing director telling him the situation and also letting on a few secrets about area twats under the counter deals.

I was let off, he got sacked and Mr Criminal got put back in chokey.

Some people may think its a bit hypocritical what i did but i like to think colleague and I's shenanigans where cheeky and fun whereas framing someone who could go to jail is cruel and nasty and incredibly uncalled for.

Sorry for the length but its nowhere near as long as Mr Criminals sentence
(, Thu 9 Aug 2007, 18:35, Reply)

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