Why should you be fired from your job?
I spent three years "working" in the Ministry of Agriculture carefully crafting projectiles out of folded paper and drawing pins that I would then fire at colleagues with an elastic band. On discovering I'd been conducting all-out warfare when I should really have been in a field counting cows, I was asked to "reconsider my career options" outside the service.
Why, then, should you be fired from your job?
( , Thu 9 Aug 2007, 13:04)
I spent three years "working" in the Ministry of Agriculture carefully crafting projectiles out of folded paper and drawing pins that I would then fire at colleagues with an elastic band. On discovering I'd been conducting all-out warfare when I should really have been in a field counting cows, I was asked to "reconsider my career options" outside the service.
Why, then, should you be fired from your job?
( , Thu 9 Aug 2007, 13:04)
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I Started Early…Getting fired, that is
I was about 15 years old and working in the crappy local village co-op for 4 hours every Saturday morning, earning a princely £12. This was pre-CCTV, so my mates used to hang around outside the shop and as soon as I went behind the till in the booze / tobacco cubical they would pile in. The transactions went thusly:
Me: “Hello sir, how can I help you?”
Mate: “I’ll have 8 cans of Tennents blue-death, a bottle of Thunderbird, a bottle of vodka and some 20-20 for the girls please?”
Me: “Do you have any proof of age sir?”
Mate: “Cock off Pooflake, I’m in your class at school, you bell-end”
Me: “Mmm I see….well, that’ll be £25.60 then”
Mate: “I’ve got 20p”
Me: “That’ll do nicely sir, here’s your £30 change”.
I would then meet up with mates after my shift, split the beer and make off with the cash.
Happy days.
This lasted about 6 months and several of my mates and I developed lovely alcohol problems as a consequence.
One day I was called into the office:
Boss: “We’re going to have to let you go Pooflake, due to staff cuts”
Me: “Awwwwww scrotey-bollocks”
Staff cuts my sleazy pink lurve-sausage!….The next Saturday there was someone else in my place!
Bastards….so I had a word with the newbie….and it all started again…
( , Mon 13 Aug 2007, 10:43, Reply)
I was about 15 years old and working in the crappy local village co-op for 4 hours every Saturday morning, earning a princely £12. This was pre-CCTV, so my mates used to hang around outside the shop and as soon as I went behind the till in the booze / tobacco cubical they would pile in. The transactions went thusly:
Me: “Hello sir, how can I help you?”
Mate: “I’ll have 8 cans of Tennents blue-death, a bottle of Thunderbird, a bottle of vodka and some 20-20 for the girls please?”
Me: “Do you have any proof of age sir?”
Mate: “Cock off Pooflake, I’m in your class at school, you bell-end”
Me: “Mmm I see….well, that’ll be £25.60 then”
Mate: “I’ve got 20p”
Me: “That’ll do nicely sir, here’s your £30 change”.
I would then meet up with mates after my shift, split the beer and make off with the cash.
Happy days.
This lasted about 6 months and several of my mates and I developed lovely alcohol problems as a consequence.
One day I was called into the office:
Boss: “We’re going to have to let you go Pooflake, due to staff cuts”
Me: “Awwwwww scrotey-bollocks”
Staff cuts my sleazy pink lurve-sausage!….The next Saturday there was someone else in my place!
Bastards….so I had a word with the newbie….and it all started again…
( , Mon 13 Aug 2007, 10:43, Reply)
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