Drunken witness statement...
My friend used to be a student at Warwick University, and lived on campus his first year (handily next to the Union as he is fond of a tipple).
One afternoon/evening he was fixing himself several pints of extra spicy bloody mary, when he noticed several 'Yoofs' outside his residence. It was obvious to him that they did not belong to the student community and were loitering on Campus. The several pints of bloody mary must have given him some Dutch courage and he stared at them in a disapproving manner. His bravado faded pretty quickly when one of the larger members of the group approached his lounge window and punched his fist right through it. This done the group of unsavory types fled the scene and my friend called campus security in an agitated state.
After relating to them what happened they boarded up his window and told them that the police would be round to take a statement. My friend then decided that he should go to the Union and get a drink or three to steady his nerves. He returned 3 hours later, the incident quite forgotten in a haze of booze, to find 2 coppers awaiting his return. He told them that he had been out for a walk and tried to appear as sober as possible. He then proceeded to give them a brilliantly detailed account of the earlier incident. He described the yoofs, what they were wearing; distinguishing features; the lot. He was very proud that he had held it together under the police questioning. That was until one of the coppers dropped his pen, my friend bent down to retrieve it for him, and fell over. He then proceeded to roll around on the floor laughing like a loon. The police left pretty soon after, the culprits were never caught.
(brycemonkey No fatal accidents since:, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 14:18, 1 reply)

"stared at them in a disapproving manner"
giggled like a loon at this
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sun 17 Feb 2008, 1:32, closed)