To protect her anonymity I'll call her "Jess"
Jess was walking home one night from work through Villiers Street (near Trafalgar Square) when she was set upon by a man in the street who kicked her and burned her with a cigarette when she wouldn't let go of her bag. She called me and was obviously very shaken up so I told her to get a cab to my ex's pub (nearby), called the ex to let her know what happened, and drove over there to see what could be done. She was shaken and had minor injuries, so I took her home (we were next door neighbours at the time) and after a few nerve-steadying ciders, she said she was going to be as she had to be in work at 7am.

At this point everyone in the kitchen suddenly turns around saying "Work? Fuck that, take the day off. Call the police and report what happened, then call work and tell them you need some time to recover," or words to that effect. However, Jess is adamant that she will make it into work the next day, as it's really important.

The next evening I pop round Jess's to see how she is, and she's positively beaming. At the time she worked as an events manager for a large firm in Whitehall, and the important thing at work was a conference on terrorism that she'd been organising, to be presided over by none other than then-PM TB himself. Her boss had told our Glorious Leader about her ordeal and so in his closing speech he pointed her out (probably helped that she was wearing a red dress) and led the audience in a standing ovation for doing such a great job despite being mugged the night before. Afterwards, he and the sinister specky then-Home Secretary dropped by the events staff chill-out room (hilariously small, like a very cramped storage area half-full of tables) to offer their thanks and congratulations on doing such a great job.

So with a celebratory cider, we drank to the fact that while she hadn't had chance to report the incident to the police, as she'd been so busy, Jess had been assured that the matter would be dealt with by no less than the Prime Minister and the Home Secretary. Result!
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 15:42, 2 replies)

I bet..
... they still actually did feck all about it.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 16:34, closed)

Oh of course
but for a while it was fun to imagine that Jack might call a squad of spooks to find the guy and fuck him up some. Maybe even take him out, David Kelly-style.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 17:36, closed)