Biscuits
Remembered this incident today:

I worked for a company, about 17 years ago, that stored its biscuits / tea / coffee in a safe within one of the offices - this was because we obviously couldn't be trusted and they thought that the biscuits would go missing if they weren't locked away. Biscuits did go missing if someone happened to pass by a meeting room that had been lain out for customers. So yes, they were correct to be suspicious.

The chief culprit, Mr A, who had a very sweet tooth, was renown for his ability to consume ten jam filled doughnuts within the space of fifteen minutes.

The week prior to the Company Director (Captain S) going on holiday there was a sudden surge of biscuit eating. So we decided it would be `humorous' to fake a ridiculous letter to Mr A, containing an imperious rant about how such theft of biscuits could be viewed as a serious disciplinary action and was upsetting the customers, etc. This letter was timed to arrive on the Monday of the Captain's first week away...

Not surprisingly, Mr A was fuming about the pettiness of it all when it arrived and stormed off to see his immediate boss ... and then the whole thing escalated out of control. Nobody in management was quite certain whether the letter was real or not. They couldn't contact Captain S and spent the next few days having long meetings about it, meetings containing most of the company managers, and meetings that took precedence over actual work. Then there was the inquisition afterwards to find out who'd written it - which didn't seem `humorous' at all.

So, next time you're tempted to have an illicit biscuit, just remember that you could bring down the entire company...
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(Mucky has squinted at the screen with one eye shut since, Thu 8 Jan 2009, 18:51, Reply)