Threshers bingo
Working at an off license you get to meet rather odd clientelle, most of which are regulars. Drunks, wierdos, freaks, angry old folk and so forth.

Before the management decided to save money by single manning the shops (thus resulting in a 7 fold rise in robbery and shoplifting and most of the workforce leaving) they used to put two members of staff on in the evenings which was usually a good laugh.

Threshers Bingo was a game we made up where you would get points for correctly predicting which regular would enter the shop at what time, and what exactly would they order. (double points on giro/pension day where they would treat themselves to an extra 100 fags or a cheeky bottle of scotch for the road!). The loser of Threshers Bingo gets the first post-shift round in.

So it went thusly

6.15pm - Stressed office manager: half bottle of Bells or Teachers depending on what was on offer. Famous Grouse at Christmas.

7.30pm: Grumpy old sod that smelled of cabbage. 1x Bottle of Bolls Apricot Brandy

7.32pm: Clearly 12 year old girl attempting to buy 10 soverign lights and 3 packs of chewing gum to hide her fag breath from her parents (we always refused her but she'd always get her fags from somewhere else)

7.55pm - Wine snob on a budget buying a bottle of Blossom Hill red but demanding it wrapped to hide the label from fellow customers

8.45pm: Staff from nearby prison: 8x Guinness, bottle of Olde Engish Cider and 4 cans of Mackinson Stout

and so forth.

One night however I was working when my mate noticed that a notorious woman with a history of domestic violence (she had glassed her husband in the adjacent pub a week earlier) and a problem with gambling had come into the shop. Just before she reached the counter, he whispered into my ear:

"8 cans of Labbatts, 200 scratchcards and a smack in the face"

Cue me trying desperately not to burst out laughing as I served her - the bastard.
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sun 11 Jan 2009, 21:14, 1 reply)

I used to work at Threshers too!
Man alive, it was fun.

We had:
The guy who would cigars every single night. He was nice.

The old geezer who used to buy 3 bottles of wine every other night (you know, with the whole 3 for fucking 2 offer), and who I actually used to get on really well with until something about global warming was on the TV and my views didn't match his views and he stopped talking to me. Stupid old man.

The very tall and most likely mentally handicapped black man who would come in 15 minutes before closing trying to use an obviously stolen card and kicking up a fuss when we wouldn't serve him. Alomst every night. He also asked if I've slept with a black guy and if not, would I like to go home with him.

And then the many homelss drunks we had living in the hostels on the same road would try and pay a visit.

We never played Threshers Bingo, but me and my mate took great pleasure in pretending to be meerkats. And scaring the new staff when my mate pretended to kick off when I asked him for ID. Har

Good times.
(Beacon, Mon 12 Jan 2009, 12:52, closed)