working for the government
Like this homeopathy idiot I work for the government. I won't tell you which one, just that it's one of the Koreas (and I have Internet, so you can probably guess which). At the best times I'm a culture and tourism reporter, and at the worst times I'm a propagandist, and it's my job to explain the local culture to the outside world.

I work with a team of writers, until recently all girls in their 20s (you can pay them less) who are fluent in English and range from quite cute to conspicuously hot. It's my job to proofread their work and keep them from making any embarrassing errors. For instance, I just stopped one from publishing an article that refers to Korean culture as "diverse."

Above me, it's my boss' job to make sure I don't cross the line, and that I stay focused on what foreigners would like about the country. Oh, and she doesn't speak any foreign languages at all. It makes it very hard for her to do her job.

Thanks to Confucianism, the older people always get their way, even if they're less competent. It's especially funny in this organisation because in Korean society, literally the younger you are the better you are at English, so you have ill-informed xenophobes making decisions about how to engage foreigners.

We are all contract workers, but my boss is a civil servant, a distinction she got by taking a civil service exam rather than actually achieving something or proving her worth in a meaningful way. She's not good at her job, a fact she openly admits, but any teams where her skillset would be more suitable knows better than to take her on as manager, so the ministry stuck her with the lowest-ranked team, us.

I have tons of stories--I'm keeping a log of all the bizarre changes she forces me to make in the name of government propaganda. But here's the funniest.

One of my coworkers was contacted by our boss one day on messenger. The conversation went something like this (translated into English):

Boss: Your English skills are getting really bad.
Writer: What are you talking about?
Boss: In your last article, you spelled "global" wrong. You forgot the V.
Writer: I'm pretty sure there's no V in global.
Boss: Well, I'm pretty sure there is a V. Gloval.

So, my coworker had to look up the word "global" to see if it was written as "global." Turns out she was right.

Anyway, a few months later, said coworker quit. We lost three employees right in a row, only a few months after losing three other employees in a row, which is devastating to a team of ten. All because of the same manager.

It amazes me that Korean culture is spreading so rapidly these days, considering some of the minds at work on this task.
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 9:10, 7 replies)

I can kind of see the Global/Gloval confusion.
The missus is Korean so I spentd a fair bit of time listening to the language and V and B use the same Korean character don't they? like the interchangable T/D, G/K or the infamous L/R? If you meet someone with a really strong Korean accent hours of fun can be had by getting them to say 'George Bush rigged the election.'
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 10:11, closed)

.
Yeah, it can be a lot of fun. I don't even hear Korean accents anymore I've been here so long.

My absolute favourite is how most Koreans can't say "see." Try this with her. Ask her to repeat these after you. "Sa...seo...so...soo...see." She'll go "Sa, seo, so, soo, she." It drives them crazier than the others, because it makes no sense to them how anyone could say "see."
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 12:01, closed)

It amazes me that Korean culture boybands are spreading so rapidly these days.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 11:04, closed)

It's disheartening
I've always said there are only three things I hate about K-pop: it's not made by humans, not made for humans, and it's not Korean.

Especially shameful is that Korea produces a lot of great other kinds of music, which gets none of the government support provided to K-pop (which in all honesty is probably what allows it to grow creatively).
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 12:07, closed)

so is Korea worth visiting?
I know there was a BBC article about the fact no one knows anything about it
( Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 11:42, closed)

My opinion?
It's probably not for everybody, but I would definitely say so. It's more affordable than Japan and more civil than China. The government is totally ass-backwards about how it promotes the country though. Fortunately there's a large foreign community here, and members of it are vocal about what they like and what works. While the Korean government is promoting K-pop and medical tourism and Korean Oriental medicine, us foreigners are eating street food in the markets, analysing traditional farm music, and campaigning to keep traditional houses from being bulldozed.
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 12:03, closed)

So no, then.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 13:11, closed)

If that's the funniest story...
...please don't post any of the others. My poor sides are split wide open and my ribs can hardly take any more tickling.
quite the reverse, actually
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 12:56, closed)

In my head your team of writers is hit Korean pop group Girls' Generation

(TheJacksonSixth, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 21:37, closed)