6 years at the farty end - a tribute to my ex boss
I am a long, long, long time lurker, but I cannot help myself.........

The background: A man who has found himself in charge of a niche nanotechnology company, much to the frustration and continued amazement of his employees.

The episodes (I'm sure I'm missing some classics but these are the ones which immediately come to mind):

1) Going awol from work for two days because he had his trousers stolen. Complete with wallet, house and car keys, and driving licence featuring home address.

2) Farty walking, with no apologies or excuses, in front of his staff, overseas distributors and customers.

3) Multiple unexplained suit-tearing incidents, in a variety of countries. Said suits reappeared on many subsequent occasions, complete with unmended rips/ tears/ bust zips.

4) Nervous tics ranging from chomping to violent head-scratching to squeezing his man-sausage between his two index fingers. In the middle of meetings.

5) Trying to set-up a conference call and calling 999 by accident.

6) Regularly choking on food as he doesn't understand that you should chew what's in your mouth before stuffing more in.

7) Wearing a bumbag while travelling for security reasons, and still forgetting where he's put his tickets and passport.

Received today via email from my ex-colleague: Today he nearly broke his back carrying a display stand down a flight of stairs rather than using the 'rather well suited for the job' elevator. After his rather embarrassing fight with the staircase he then dragged it out to his car and proceeded to spend ten minutes trying to fit it in his boot, despite the fact the the opening of his car's rear storage compartment was much smaller than the box he was trying to put in it. After a total of 30 mins wasted on this particular activity he asked a much more competent member of staff to ring fedex to get it delivered to it's destination. I imagine he did this to avoid dialling 999 again.

I really can't understand how he's still alive, never mind in charge of a company.
(whskyngngr, Wed 12 Sep 2012, 0:01, 4 replies)

Can't belive
This doesn't have more replies - this guy seems like an utter legend! The idea of having your trousers stolen seems both impossible and hilarious.

Did he have any qualifications for working in nanotech?
(SimianKid internet faffer, Wed 12 Sep 2012, 14:37, closed)

Nope, he's an accountant. :) The trousers episode was epic, especially as he seemed to have his life's possessions in them!
(whskyngngr, Thu 13 Sep 2012, 9:39, closed)

Sounds like a douche
Although that's nothing compared to the time I caught my boss playing with his cock in a meeting. He could of had the good grace to at least try and do it under the table. At one point I thought he wouldnt be able to hold in his excitement if the customer told him we'd won the tender. But I'm yet to see a QOTW for "that time your boss openly squeezed his cock for 20 mins in an important meeting" so I'll save the story for another time.
(the_riviera_kid , anyone fancy making me a brew?, Wed 12 Sep 2012, 15:20, closed)

Are we talking about the same man?!

(whskyngngr, Thu 13 Sep 2012, 9:41, closed)