He's forever blowing...
A story related to me by the same acquaintance responsible for the poo trap story...

As a pubescent lad he was beginning to experiment with self-gratification. One day he's playing with a bubble blower -- you know, a bottle of soapy water, a stick with a loop, you blow and get bubbles -- when he puts two and two together...and heads off to the bathroom.

So he's pumping away at the now-empty bubble-stuff bottle and having a fine time of it. However when the time comes to disengage, he finds that he's built up a vacuum and the thing is stuck fast. 'No problem', thinks he, and gives it a mighty yank. 'Rip' goes his foreskin, 'spurt' goes blood all up the back of the bathroom door, 'argh' goes he.

Not wishing to explain to his parents that he's torn his cock wanking into a bottle, he spent the next two weeks with it wrapped in toilet paper. And walking with a distinct limp.
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Fri 15 Jun 2007, 11:41, Reply)