My revolting ex
I was with the same twunt for eight years. Lets call him Marc, for that was his name.

He was a virgin when I got with him (I was 17 he was 22) and thus I was the official cherry popper. You expect a bloke to be crap the first time he gives sex a go, however, Marc managed to keep the sexual skills of a virgin throughout the eight years we were together, despite all efforts to enlighten him.
This is the pitiful tale of our so called 'sex life'...

1. He wouldn't take off his t-shirt during sex, making the whole thing awkward.
2. He had no sex drive. I'm not exagerating when I say he only wanted sex once a year. I have a high sex drive but he refused me more times than I care to think about.
3. When he decided to have his annual shag he also suffered premature ejaculation and sex never lasted more than a minute or two. He would literally lie still on top of me because the minute he moved he would shoot off.
4. He was stingy with oral sex, taking more times than he would ever give.
5. When he did give he would belch during it, killing the mood completely. He would blame me for that as it was my fault he had to lie in an awkward position to do it and apparently I gave him heartburn anyway.
6. He watched tons of porn but wouldn't share it with me as I would apprently spoil it. He would make me wait in a coffee shop around the corner from his porn shop whilst he went to buy porn.
7. He told me that the porn had to contain loads of 'pop shots' for him to like it, so there is fair chance he was gay.
8. He made feeble creepy girly noises when he came and would practically cry.
9. He would occasionally ignore me for a couple of months then tell me that I was getting fat and that if I got any bigger he would probably stop calling me. I know for a fact that much of his porn collection contain obese women (twice my size).
10. He let his nails grow too long and I found it revolting when he touch me 'down there'.
11. Sex was always in silence.
12. He accused me of faking orgasms when I didn't.
13. He told me full sex should only be about once a year or else it wouldn't be special. He stuck to that.
14. I was never, in the whole 8 years I as with him, allowed under his duvet cover. We never once slept in the same bed.
15. He was small and frankly I couldn't feel a thing. (I have had a smaller guy who was excellent in bed - so size isn't everything. I guess its how you use it).
16. He was totally closed minded when it came to experimenting with positions, bondage or anything like it.
17. He though a 30 second kiss was adequate foreplay. He would literally not speak to me after ejaculation so I would have to finish myself off when he went to the bathroom. It was so depressing I would leave his house early and go binge on KFC.
18. To top it all off, he assaulted me by forcing me to do something I didn't want to do. I was so weak minded I forgave him instantly. Then he dumped me a week later which was about the only good thing he ever did for me.

Funily, when he asked for me back about 8 months ago I said no.

Bitter? Hell yes. I will never forgive him or myself for so much wasted time!
(Just a girl., Sat 16 Jun 2007, 15:15, Reply)