Bad bad sex
I've had the occasional bad sex but none to cap the exploits of a friend from college, Darren.
He had his eye on his bosses' daughter and took her out for a drink in the company van. Ahhh romance..
Anyway she drank. And drank. And drank. He had two pints (not wanting to risk his license or the works van), she, a not very big lady, had seven. Food didn't enter the equation.
They were driving on to another pub when Darren felt her hand unzipping him and a pair of slobbering lips on his cock (whilst he was driving). He pulled the car over, not terribly far from her house, and ask if she'd like to get in the back, which she did.
Events followed their drunker couse and all was fine until he finished... and she made a sound.....something like.... errrrrgh...
At which she Puked, pissed and shat herself. At the same time.
She came more or less to her senses and bolted out the back of the van, covered in god knows what and semi-naked. Darren did the manly thing and drove off.
Terrible sex was followed by frantic late night car cleaning, stench that woundn't go away, accusations from his boss and a new job.
Anyone care to beat that?
(DustyD, Sat 16 Jun 2007, 23:52, Reply)