copied and elaborated from my "losing my virginity" QOTW
I had a bottle of jack daniels first (I'm still amazed to this day that the event was even possible after that much booze. Ah, youth!) and it was a bit of a 'mare really, in retrospect. I wandered into a room at the 3-am stage of a party to find a large female partygoer who seduced me with the cunning line of "I'm bored, want to fuck me?".

The second-worst thing about it was her unconvincing and constant stream of "oh god, yeah, oh your cock's great, oh yeah" etc etc, which started a good 20 seconds before I touched her and managed to put me off enough that I considered faking my own orgasm. I needn't have worried, it was over very quickly. I think I may be the only (male)person genuinely glad to have come really fast their first time.

The worst part was explaining the following morning why there was a condom wrapper and a handprint in menstrual blood on the host's parents' white leather sofa.

Grim.
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Mon 18 Jun 2007, 10:59, Reply)