The worst sex I ever had
OK, enough of the fluffy.
What's the worst sex you've ever had?
( , Fri 15 Jun 2007, 10:41)
OK, enough of the fluffy.
What's the worst sex you've ever had?
( , Fri 15 Jun 2007, 10:41)
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Here goes....
So, I'm at uni, been seeing this guy for a week or so, and for the first time we head back to his room together. We kiss, we pet, he grabs a condom, strips while facing away from me, and then (like a magician revealing a fine trick) spins round to face me, johnny on, ready to go. My first introduction to his manhood.
It was miniscule. I mean, really, really. It was like a cocktail sausage wearing a see-through tent. It was smaller than my little finger, and I have ridiculously small hands (not quite Beadle, but close). He crawled towards me, and the condom just slid off his erect manhood like a baby snake shedding skin. He put it back on, and it just wouldn't stay, and inside me a mounting horror merged with a rapidly declining libido. But, we've come this far, and I felt bad for him all ready to go, and me tying my legs together, and I must admit there was more than a smattering of pity at his Honey I Shrank My Appendage, so I thought I'd just give him a blow job. Consolation prize. I threw away the condom, and got down to work.
You know how JD in scrubs has his own personal monologue running? Well, I have my own. Normally, it's fairly mundane and non-offensive, but as I grappled with distinctly less than a mouthful of willy, the little voice in my head piped up.
"This is what being a paedophile must feel like."
That was it. I couldn't continue. I practically spat his dick out and ran out the door. Poor sod.
B3ta first post! Sorry it's a bit epic.
( , Wed 20 Jun 2007, 13:15, Reply)
So, I'm at uni, been seeing this guy for a week or so, and for the first time we head back to his room together. We kiss, we pet, he grabs a condom, strips while facing away from me, and then (like a magician revealing a fine trick) spins round to face me, johnny on, ready to go. My first introduction to his manhood.
It was miniscule. I mean, really, really. It was like a cocktail sausage wearing a see-through tent. It was smaller than my little finger, and I have ridiculously small hands (not quite Beadle, but close). He crawled towards me, and the condom just slid off his erect manhood like a baby snake shedding skin. He put it back on, and it just wouldn't stay, and inside me a mounting horror merged with a rapidly declining libido. But, we've come this far, and I felt bad for him all ready to go, and me tying my legs together, and I must admit there was more than a smattering of pity at his Honey I Shrank My Appendage, so I thought I'd just give him a blow job. Consolation prize. I threw away the condom, and got down to work.
You know how JD in scrubs has his own personal monologue running? Well, I have my own. Normally, it's fairly mundane and non-offensive, but as I grappled with distinctly less than a mouthful of willy, the little voice in my head piped up.
"This is what being a paedophile must feel like."
That was it. I couldn't continue. I practically spat his dick out and ran out the door. Poor sod.
B3ta first post! Sorry it's a bit epic.
( , Wed 20 Jun 2007, 13:15, Reply)
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