Philanthropy
This isn't the worst by a long way, but it's more unusual than tiny dicks, limpness or inappropriate vomiting.

Meet attractive-looking bloke. Chat - seems an attractive personality too. Ask him out for the evening, have drinks, snog, invite him back to mine. Brief look of terrified panic flits across his face, but then he agrees. I wonder what problem is but politely ignore. We go back to mine, & I notice his hands are trembling. I decide to assume this is from lust.

We are getting down to it, and I move my hand towards his (clothed) groin. He leaps off the bed in a convulsive movement, staring at me in horror. This I cannot ignore, and ask him what's wrong. He eventually confides that he is phobic about sexual contact, and has only tried it once, 5 years ago, and that it was traumatic. I express surprise that he would choose to come home with me, and he says he thought I might be the girl to cure him. (Ahhhhhh!)

I feel very sorry for him, and decide to devote the remainder of the night to playing sex therapist and helping him master his phobia. That means progressing VERY slowly. Eventually some hours later, clothes are off. Shagging and oral too scary for him, so I give him a hand job. The very second he covers me with 5 years' worth (thanks for that) of pent up frustration, he falls over, clutching his head (yes, head as in on shoulders) and wailing in pain, followed by cold sweat, shaking, gasping for breath, etc. (This is not something which I am used to.)

Half an hour later, he has calmed down enough to thank me for trying, and hurriedly and embarassedly leaves. It is now 7am and time for me to get up for work.

Length? I'm sure you can take it.
(Turangalila, Wed 20 Jun 2007, 14:44, Reply)