clue:
Middlesborough.
Any pub I've been in with bouncers has been in a bit of a rough area. This might not be the case here, but that's my experience of it.
Also: be polite to the nice men in suits. They can be a lot less restrained than the police if you seriously wind them up, and they generally have the 'no pints' advantage over drunken idiots. The fact that you're not drinking through a straw would indicate they were on cctv or that you didn't upset them enough to warrant being pulped. Don't guarantee that'll always be the case. The bouncers get to see where is and isn't covered by the cctv, and generally know which alleyway round the corner is safe to hit people in. They also (on the whole, though there are exceptions) get on with the police as a matter of the profession. Calling the police on a bouncer will get multiple bouncers stating that you started on their co-worker after having a few too many drinks, the police will quite probably agree with them if you have had anything to drink at all (unless there's some good cctv footage showing you doing *absolutely nothing*), and you then get your own special places on the government's DNA and fingerprint databases. Well done.
If you really really really insist on going back to that pub, Krunk, my best advice is to go straight to the bouncers without attempting to enter the premises, and request to meet the duty manager outside the door. Explain any issues you have with the duty manager, who has the legal right to deny you entry to the establishment for as long as he/she feels fit. He/she will listen to all you have to say, then turn to the bouncers and ask if you've been a twat. When the bouncers say yes, quite a few times, you'll then get the full lifetime ban, and possibly your photo inside the door on the "remove on sight, forcibly" list. That will then be an end of it. If the pub can afford multiple boucers, it's got a fairly large client-base. The manager will happily lose one of those clients to keep the bouncers on his side, even if you are in the right (though really, you're coming across as something of a muppet here - no offence intended to any nylon-fur clad brightly coloured types with mens hands up their backsides).
( evilstevie misses the Orange Place of late, Sat 4 Jul 2009, 11:09, archived)