"HELLO?
YAH, I'M ONNA TWAIN. YAH. YAH. HUHUHU, YAH TOUWALLY! YAH, I WAS TALKIN TA NICKY BOUT THET EARLIER, HUHUHU! YAH! YAH!"

Repeat and vary slightly for the whole journey. Bonus points for perfecting irritating "stunted machine-gun" laughter.
(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:05, archived)