I'm on a train and that
I'm in the quiet coach. It's quiet. But internet speed is a lot faster.

What shenanigans should I get up to in the quiet coach?
(__, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:53, archived)

Loud farting.
JMG Anthems.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

sing them one of your songs.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

I think that's Step 4 if anything

(__, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

Did Beckyjsbx really flounce or was it a 'Wormulus' flounce?

( WormuIus, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:06, archived)

I thought it was because she's got a job now

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:08, archived)

Slowly shit yourself over the length of the journey
Dont let on, see how long you can go before Bogus taps you on the shoulder.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

yoga

(likeajackhammer, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

start screaming about how the seats are uncomfortable and that you've got a metal back

( Lightguy hail satan, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:54, archived)

I just got a glare laughing at this

(__, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

snooze

( jenpots, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

My my, you're a wacky one!

(__, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

I'm old and poorly
I'm allowed to snooze.
( jenpots, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)

On our date we're going dogging.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)

*snort*

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)

can we wait until I'm feeling better?

( jenpots, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

Well I'd invited some flu fetishists to watch.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:01, archived)

don't have flu
only AIDS with a touch of cancer.
( jenpots, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:02, archived)

well then you need a nice young man to look after you,
all you'd have to do to repay him is indulge in a spot of dogging.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)

sounds like a plan

( jenpots, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:05, archived)

ok
I don't actually have a car at the moment though
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:05, archived)

gutted
now I will have to get better all on my own.
( jenpots, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:08, archived)

do you not have a car?
we could do it on a bus otherwise.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:08, archived)

I do have a car
but I can't take it on dogging sites.
( jenpots, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)

why not?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:12, archived)

cos it's naff

( jenpots, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)

Silent Rape.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

Sit behind the driver and make over enthusiastic driving, braking and gear change noises.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:55, archived)

None.
Stop being a tit and let your fellow passengers enjoy what they paid for.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)

pwnt

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)

cwnt

(__, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)

This^
Friz is such a mean bully.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

You should bring your child onto the quiet coach and let it cry there.
Or take phonecalls loudly in there, like most people do on the quiet coach.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:56, archived)

I saw someone have an epileptic fit in the quiet coach
Whilst being glared at by seven customers
(__, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

Luckily the driver recovered

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)

Serves them right for being a light spastic.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)

A few years ago I went to my grandad's funeral
and that morning had a bath in the bath in which my great uncle had died 2 years previously, on the train on the way back someone died quietly in the seat behind me on the train.

That was a less than jolly day.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:59, archived)

Did anyone dump him in the quiet coach afterwards?

(__, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:01, archived)

No, we only realised when the guard tried to check his ticket and he wouldn't wake up.
He did the whole shouting 'is there a doctor on the train?'
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:07, archived)

Why is the bath bit relevant?
All I'm doing now is picturing you, naked, lathering yourself up in your dead uncle's bath.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:02, archived)

Naked? Uncle?
Are we on QOTW here?
(__, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:03, archived)

It just added to my creepy death feeling of the day.

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)

bark bark bark
BARK bark bark...
(Police Dog bark bark bark, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

shush

( jenpots, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:58, archived)

urn urn urn urn urn
(Police Dog bark bark bark, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

good dog
*gives dog treat*
( jenpots, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:01, archived)

                                                                               .-.    BARK!
       (______________________________________________________________________()6 `-,   /
       (   _________________________________________________________________   /''"`  
       //\\                                                                 //\\
      "" ""                                                                 "" "" 

(Police Dog bark bark bark, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:05, archived)

awww
lovely sausage dog!
( jenpots, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:09, archived)

Tasty sausage dog

(thediscokingpin, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:13, archived)

i've never seen the appeal of the quiet coach

( well, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

Internet speed is dictated by background noise?
Is this some sort of new telecommunication SCIENCE? Can cr3 confirm this please.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 15:57, archived)

Each coach has their own routers
Nobody ever takes laptops into the quiet coach, mainly 'cause nobody ever goes in the quiet coach
(__, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

If that were true /talk would slow down to a crawl whenever piston broke were on.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:00, archived)

Coming from anyone else I would laugh at this.
anyone else.
( WormuIus, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:04, archived)

If that were true /talk would slow down to a crawl whenever piston broke were on.

( jenpots, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:06, archived)

Fuck you seb
You arent my real dad anyway:(
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:07, archived)

Bang one out, you know you want to.

( broadsword, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:01, archived)

Play music from your phone as loud as you can
and if someone says anything say:

'CONGRATULATIONS!' you win!
( WormuIus, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:02, archived)

"HELLO?
YAH, I'M ONNA TWAIN. YAH. YAH. HUHUHU, YAH TOUWALLY! YAH, I WAS TALKIN TA NICKY BOUT THET EARLIER, HUHUHU! YAH! YAH!"

Repeat and vary slightly for the whole journey. Bonus points for perfecting irritating "stunted machine-gun" laughter.
(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Thu 9 Jul 2009, 16:05, archived)