b3ta.com user robbyefe
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» Toilets

Crazy HK Chef
Ok, night out in Hong Kong, go to mate of mates birthday do. Turns out to be a free bar. Result. Sit down meal, lots of wine, free bar. Anyway, chatting away, foods digesting itself, drunken me needs a shit. Goes upstairs. Wakes up 3 hours later, trousers round ankles, all lights off. Using the light on mobile phone, manage to work my way downstairs, doors locked. Unlock all the doors from the inside using keys from behind the bar and proceed to be chased away by a crazy chef with a knife. Thank god there was a taxi nearby!!
(Sat 3rd Sep 2005, 23:01, More)

» Singing the wrong words

Fat boy slim.....

Yes I promise, I heard him sing,

"get outside now! What the fucks your problem"
(Fri 28th Jan 2005, 15:14, More)

» The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis

Mmmmm homebrew....
A good few years back, in my heydays I was a dedicated member of the university freshers rugby team. Now the playing was good fun, but the social scene, that's what it was all about! Anyway, on this one particular night out we were doing what was obviously acceptable back then by putting peanuts, crisps, bogeys, pubes or anything we could find in unattended pints, and naturally the victim was made to consume his pint when he returned. You obviously know what's coming now; Yes, after the vinegar or some other condiment was poured into Barrie's pint of bitter and we realised we had nothing to stir it in with, I stepped up to the plate offering my appendage.

Roll forward a few weeks and its reading week, I find myself in a bit of pain whenever I take a pee or get a hard-on and I also notice there's some sort of secretion. Having completely forgotten about my deed I'm thinking which if any female friends I may not have been careful with.... So off to the Doctor I go, "why?" asks mum, "erm, private matter mum". Anyway, teaspoon down the japs-eye, all the necessary tests and a dose of antibiotics. The most embarrassing part was when I had to explain to the Doctor how I might have got the Yeast Infection - "Yes doc, a pint of bitter!!"
(Thu 19th Mar 2009, 8:13, More)