b3ta.com user Shake
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Best answers to questions:

» Guilty Pleasures

The Matrix
(Mon 11th Apr 2005, 20:01, More)

» Little things that turn you on

I could tell you
But the police might be reading this.
(Fri 18th Feb 2005, 12:20, More)

» Injured Siblings

Little sod
I think I was about 11 at the time and my cousin was probably 8. We got along fine, but one day he just came up to me and said "I want a fight with you." I kept telling him to give it a rest, but he pestered me all day and was really getting on my nerves. So to get him to shut up, I granted him his wish: a beautiful fuck-off kung fu kick (with no prior experience) square in the mouth. He was knocked spark out, and although I had some explaining to do, I'd knocked some sense into the little sod.

Well, turns out I didn't, since he's a druggy bum now. Ah well.
(Thu 18th Aug 2005, 18:49, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Works better 3 years ago
What's this?

*hand moves in circular motion on the floor*

A Manhattan window cleaner.
(Tue 14th Sep 2004, 16:05, More)

» Shit Stories

Ratte rattle
When I was little, I was out playing football. I was wearing quite baggy trousers, so there was a lot of room, and I also really needed a shite. Due in part to laziness, I continued playing football while my cargo slowly slipped out with every movement I made. Soon enough, I'm running around playing football as if everything's fine, with a huge link freely rattling around in my pants like a pea in a whistle. When I got in to inspect the damage, my pants had a healthy tan, and I stood in the bathroom scrubbing at them with toilet roll, which just made it much worse.
(Fri 7th May 2004, 16:23, More)
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