b3ta.com user jme
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Recent front page messages:

i love jammie dodgers

...but i swear they never used to look like this...

edit - oh my lordy lord, my first ever FP...i might just cry...this is a proud day for jme...thankee vur much :)
(Sat 12th Jul 2003, 11:00, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Heckles

I went to see Evanescence once,
and the rather beautiful Ami Lee was wearing a rather stunning white corsetted dress, much to the approval of the male proportion of the crowd.
In between two songs a drunk near the back shouts "TAKE IT OFF!", to which she laughs and replies "this dress doesn't come off".
There was a moments pause, before "TRY HARDER!".

Fond memories.
(Thu 6th Apr 2006, 15:00, More)

» Expensive Mistakes

This one time I had a few
and I wrapped my wife around a bollard.
(Thu 25th Oct 2007, 12:28, More)

» Hypocrisy

Religious 'moralists' who would condemn what I do...
...as a geneticist, citing that I shouldn't be "playing God", and then acting like this is a view that's worth taking any note of at all.

I don't condemn you for "playing Thor" every time you go to hang a new painting of Jesus with your handy hammer, and you'd think it was ridiculous for someone holding such a belief to impose their belief upon you. Well, to me, your belief is equally as preposterous as theirs, if not more so, as at least the Norse had a rather shallower understanding of the nature of the universe back then.

Get with the millennium.
(Fri 20th Feb 2009, 10:31, More)

» Beautiful but Bonkers

Not a proper crazy, and just a girl I like...
came out yesterday with "I've started to cut stuff like you told me".

It turns out she just meant that she now cuts up the plastic bits that hold cans together, because I told her things strangle themselves with it. Still, for a second I knew terror.
(Fri 17th Nov 2006, 15:25, More)

» My Wanking Disasters

once on holiday in Spain
a big group about a dozen of us (about 13 to 20 year old) decided to go for a midnight barbeque on the beach, or rather in the dunes just behind. Mid way through two of the lads decide to go for a walk, and come back about 15 minutes later laughing their bollocks off.

It turns out they'd been walking along the edge where the beach meets the dunes, and they'd seen a man sitting down - nothing amiss here, there's quite a few late night fishermen in that area, so they just continued walking assuming he was taking a break. When they got a little nearer it turns out it was a balding middle aged Spaniard, with his manhood in hand furiously beating one off to the extreme - puffing, panting and sweating. Seeing the two young Brits he slams his cock back in his pants, jumps up, and pretends to be stretching, and then jogs off down the beach as if it was merely a part of his warm up exercise.

They didn't stop laughing for an hour.
(Wed 2nd Jun 2004, 20:27, More)
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