b3ta.com user nutty_nut_nuts
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i hate you all

Recent front page messages:

The Home Office website has a handy interactive tool
to find out how many paedophiles live in your area

(Tue 10th Apr 2007, 12:10, More)

New! from makers of Bowlingual and Meowlingual comes.....

Srighty bigga

(Thu 17th Jul 2003, 12:25, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Office Christmas Parties

our boss
buys his christmas cards from M&S. We think he's getting paid too much
(Thu 16th Dec 2004, 14:54, More)

» Housemates from hell

are you TRYING to kill us?
I shared with two other girls for second year at university - one was a real sweetheart - the other some kind of devil spawn. She used to clean every surface with neat bleach and open all doors and windows even on the coldest days. Whenever we closed them, they were open again within minutes, and you could play that game all day long. She also used to go out leaving the back door wide open, whether we were in or not. She would smoke in the lounge but not in her own room.

Her best though was when I came home one evening and found a strongly noticeable whiff of leaking gas. I discovered it was the fireplace so immediately went upstairs to call British gas out. In the meantime she had arrived home and promptly lit a cigarette in the gas-filled room. Nutter! We didn't even know when she had left at the end of the year because she just packed up and left without a word while we were out.

Then the following year I shared with 3 lads (big mistake!) - coming back after the summer holidays I discovered one of whom had left a tub of a brie like substance in the fridge (which turned out to be a 3 month old slice of lasagne on closer inspection), and another who I answered the door to at 6am one morning to find stood there covered in blood with absolutely no idea what had happened to him. The same who, when I got up one morning to an acrid smell of teflon wafting up the stairs,I learnt had come home at midnight rather pished and fancied a boiled egg. Filled a pan with water, turned the hob on full and then WENT TO BED. The pan had melted to the still burning stove and it took days for the smell to go.
(Mon 9th Apr 2007, 20:02, More)

» Unexpected Good Fortune

We think my uncle's quite lucky
He was due to fly to New York from Florida at about 10am on 9th Sept 01.

He had a holiday in Egypt a week or so before they bombed the tourist areas.

He lives in London and used to get the tube to work - he was safely at work last July when it all kicked off there too.

Good timing or luck - you decide.
(Fri 15th Sep 2006, 17:00, More)

» People with Stupid Names

Short story
My best friend's maiden name was Short. Kinda funny in itself, made funnier by the fact she married a guy called Spray - so a double-barrelled surname would be either "short spray" or "spray short".

It was even better this year when her brother, another Short, got married, and took his girlfriend's name instead of the other way round. If they'd opted for double barrelled instead, their name would now be "Short Vickers".
(Fri 27th Aug 2004, 11:03, More)