b3ta.com user Rusty Shackleford
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Profile for Rusty Shackleford:
Profile Info:

I am Joey.

I run a small website design company and an accomplished and widely respected triangle player in the mighty Daddy Bear

I occasionally do a bit of video editing / animation... usually because I'm bored of designing client's websites...

Clicky for my videos

Also dabble in a bit of illustration/t-shirt design/audio editing/mountain bike racing and snakebite drinking.


Recent front page messages:

Our economy may be fucked..
but spare a thought for the Russians...

(Thu 9th Oct 2008, 23:11, More)

Must have been done
Old man's idea so can't claim the credit

(Wed 2nd Jan 2008, 18:56, More)

Best answers to questions:

» The worst sex I ever had

The funniest sex I ever had
was with an ex about 4 years ago. I'd been cooking/eating whilst she was getting increasingly drunk on the sofa watching TV under a duvet at her parents.

After I'd eaten I sat and watched whatever wank film was on with her, who by this stage was pretty drunk, when her parents returned and sat down opposite us.

At this point my ex decided that it was a good idea to try and wank me off under the duvet. To be fair she was quite subtle. Until I tried to return the favour when within 2 minutes she started to moan and writhe quite a bit.

I had a bit of a smug grin at this point, all hail me and my mighty fingers.

It wasn't until she hissed in my ear that I realised why she was reacting in such a way.

"You haven't washed your hands"

I'd be cooking with fresh chilis.

She had a burning cunt.

How I laughed.
(Fri 15th Jun 2007, 14:24, More)

» Hypocrisy

Death and the tabloids
Take Jade Goody. Once portrayed as an evil racist bitch, now she's Brave Jade™ the new people's princess.

Same with Diana. One minute she's portrayed as a complete slag, then through death she's miraculously transformed into the people's princess, with her face splashed across thousands of limited edition commemorative plates hanging on walls of tabloid reader's homes across the country.

I'm not suggesting for a second that either of the above are/were evil and deserved to die, far from it, it just amuses me how the tabloids constantly contradict themselves in a vain attempt to shift more copies.

We're all guilty of it.. every local has a bigoted old cunt sitting in the corner. The moment he pegs it, he's fondly remembered as "a real character" instead of the complete bastard that he really was.

Forget all the bollocks about speaking ill of the dead. If I act like a cunt in life I want to be remembered as a cunt in death.
(Thu 19th Feb 2009, 15:55, More)

» Lies that got out of control

When I was 15
I played pool for a pub team in a local pool 4th division league. I wasn't bad, but the rest of the team was shit, and the 35 year old captain would never pick me despite me being one of the best players, always coming up with an excuse week after week after promising to pick me the week before.

One week in particular we didn't have a league game scheduled, and instead held a couple of pub tournaments, both of which I won, walking home with about 50 quids worth of pound coins, a couple of months pocket money for a night's work. He then refused to pick me for the next week's team.

By this point I'd had enough - after not getting selected yet again, I went home (this was in about 1997, had just got the internet) and downloaded a copy of the British Pool Association's logo. I then wrote a letter stating that by not picking me he was in breach of rule XYZ and was facing expulsion from the league. I posted this letter to my uncle in London, who then posted it back down to Cornwall so that it had a London postage mark.

The captain then spent a weekend writing a 4 page ranting letter to the British Pool Association saying how I was tactically naive, and therefore didn't think I was mature enough to play for the first team etc etc. He also sent a copy to me, the local pool league, and the pub landlord.

I then wrote another letter from the Association saying that the team had been disqualified from the league due to the captain repeatedly lying in his letter, as I had supplied them with tape recordings of our conversations which contradicted his letter.

The next Monday Pool night he got me in front of the whole pool team and gave a long speech saying that because of me contacting the British Pool Association the whole team had been kicked out the league, and tried to shame me.

I then revealed it was all a hoax. He did look like a bit of a cunt at this point, having been fooled by a 15 yr old boy in front of all of his mates.

I never did play for that team.
(Thu 12th Aug 2010, 14:45, More)

» B3TA fixes the world

Think it's Mark Thomas' idea
and a brilliant one at that.

Anyone who believes in/practices homeopathic remedies gets denied all conventional medical treatment, and has to cure themselves solely using their magic sugar pills.

Edit: Also I believe people should have to choose between voting in elections and for reality television programmes. Eliminates the fucktard demographic from voting on important issues.
(Thu 22nd Sep 2011, 14:01, More)

» Guilty Laughs

Going to hell
This happened a few years back, at a mate's old man's BBQ. Typical grey cloudy Cornish summer, so a group of us had relocated to the summer house in the corner of the garden, and were slowly getting wasted, away from the more mature types at the BBQ.

We were slowly getting merry, when a slightly chubby older guy appeared at the doorway, and said Hi. I'd never met him before but he seemed a bit down. My mate asked how he was doing, and the guy slowly explained that his mum had been ill, and had been in and out of hospital with internal bleeding, and problems with her bowels. Naturally it all went a bit quiet at this point; I just looked down into my beer, not sure where else to look. This went on for 30 seconds, until I noticed that one of my mates was shaking slightly. I looked up, and his face was bright red; he was trying his hardest not to laugh. To my left, another mate was also sniggering away, virtually pissing himself. This got louder and louder until they burst out laughing, unable to stop.

The stranger had wandered off by this point, somehow but thankfully oblivious to my mates.

I asked them what the fuck they were laughing at, as it seemed pretty harsh.

At which point they explained to me just who his mum was.

Her name was Abbie*, and she was "affectionately" known around these parts as "Anal Abbie*", a reputation earned after years of stalking young men at the local nightspot, before dragging them back to her's for a bit of backdoor action.

Seems she'd taken one too many poundings up the wrong un, and was now in a spot of trouble.

*Name changed very slightly to protect the guilty.
(Fri 23rd Jul 2010, 14:46, More)
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