» Singing the wrong words

Misheard?
Well..you know the bonnie tyler song "total eclipse of the heart..."

I once sung it, rathelty dunkly as "I've tried to set ligh to my farts..."

Ruined that song for many people i did :-p
(Thu 27th Jan 2005, 11:22, More)

» Have you ever been dumped in a spectacular way?

well
i found out...by text...whislt at work...and sereving...picture the scene

me:That'll be 12.99 please..
*phone rings*
me : Sorry about this, i think this a emergency
customer : no problem
me : Colin...can you take over for a min...i need to have a sit down...

bear in mind that that week i'd not only lost my home but didnt get the job i so deperalty wanted..
edit : oh yes...a week before my birthday as well...and we were engaged.

Timeing=perfection
(Thu 17th Jun 2004, 19:00, More)

» I'm an expert

Zoidberg Impression
From all account I can do "a mean zoidberg"..complete with scuttling action and claw clamping movement....not got the little frilly bits, but i supose a beard counts...

*thanks to UltimateStoat for suggesting me do this*
(Fri 24th Jun 2005, 20:47, More)

» How I Skive Off Work

Well you could always just run out of work....
Well ive done the fifteen minute chat thing while looking for stock for a customer. 'Oh we searched high and low for it... sorry maam' lso where i used to work the pet section was fabtastic to hide in, it was very sought after to stock that area ecause all the cans would be with the wrong flavours so you could take all the cans off and rearrange the shelf, also it was at the back of the shop where customers couldnt find you and the boss wouldnt see you. Fantastic.

But now i have a better job, i get paid mnore to sit around and open envelopes all day, and we dont even have to do the opening part as we have a machine that can dothat for us. The beginning of the week we ran out of work to do so sat there listening to Traffic Warden stories and how they did a practical joke on some girl over a motorbike that was 'evidence in a major case' She denied that she had touched it so they needed a sample of her fingerprints and she was told to take her clothes off because it could contain evidence... as someone said before the police force is in bad condition with loads of crazy people.

As our manager isnt even in the same office as us we could get away with anything, very minimal work because she would never know! Also I love running down to the other departments on a wandabout seeing who wants this piece of mail. And taking diversions while delivering stuff to the front desk.

I love my job. Also when everyone else has gone home I just wander around the office tidying up, i even cleaned the window next to my desk the other day. And spent 45 minutes chatting to some guy who wanders in and out everyday. Flxi time is so much fun!

- Post by Immies and not Phil.
(Thu 28th Apr 2005, 11:53, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Whats green and eats nuts.......




Gonarear(sp)
(Sun 12th Sep 2004, 12:46, More)