» Claims to Fame

Bo Diddley
I once used the same portable toilet as Bo Diddley, and just after he had used it. We may as well have rubbed our arse cheeks together!
(Sat 26th Feb 2005, 13:14, More)

» Scars with history

dog bite
Once when I was 9, I was helping a friend feed her newly adopted stray hound. He lunged, she retreated, I got my face mauled. I was lucky he landed on top of me as if I had been able to pull away, I would have lost half my face. As it was, I got 84 stiches from eyebrow to cheek. YAY!
(Fri 4th Feb 2005, 14:13, More)

» Take my Mother-in-law...

my monster-in-law
To quote one of my favorite songs:
'Cunt cunt cunt, fucking cunt, cunt, cunt!'
Need I type more?
(Sun 11th Sep 2005, 3:37, More)

» Singing the wrong words

Oscar Meyer Wiener
Oh, I wish you were an Oscar Meyer wiener,
That is what you'd really ought to be...
Cause if you were an Oscar Meyer wiener,
I could shove you up inside of meeeeee.....
(Sat 29th Jan 2005, 3:20, More)