b3ta.com user Adolf Jitler
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» Karma

Instant Karma
So there I am, responsible dog owner that I am. Have to take my much loved pooch out for her walkies.
So off we trot over the field opposite our house, and she’s running about like she’s never seen daylight before. Suddenly, it’s time, she squats, is it a wee…? Nah, it’s a dog egg. Not to worry; not a problem, as said, I am a responsible pet owner, I’ll just do my civic duty and pick up the little steaming parcel she’s just deposited. I fumble in my pocket for the “doggy bag”….ah…oh dear, I seem to have neglected to take one with me, bugger. I quickly look around, there’s no one in sight; not a soul. Just have to leave this one, put head down in shame and start walking away from the poop as quickly as possible.
I’ll chalk this one down to experience, and check I’ve got shit-bags next time….

We complete our walk through the woods, and return home crossing the aforementioned field… yes, I’m sure you all know exactly what’s coming…. Karma struck me right between the eyes; well actually it was more like the sole of my left foot. Yeah, I’d only gone and stood in my own dog’s shit. Karma alright, and thoroughly deserved.

oh the shame

todgers etc…
(Tue 26th Feb 2008, 20:21, More)

» Pet Peeves

Now this really boils…
…my piss.


Riding on the road.

3 yards to their’ left is a bloody Cycle track.

Why in the name of fuckery do they do it?

(Thu 1st May 2008, 23:34, More)

» Insults

Sheer Genius
after a skirmish (ok, brawl) ensued in an Indian Restaurant, a significant amount of damage had been done to tables, chairs etc... the owner, quite understandable upset by the thuggery going on in his establishment, uttered (well, screamed actually) at the protagonists, the now immortal lines: "YOU...YOU...YOU... SHITTY BISCUITS"

genius man. genius
(Sun 7th Oct 2007, 18:12, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

silly joke
Seven Dwarves in a bath all feeling Happy...
..Happy get's out so they all feel Grumpy !!

ho ho
(Thu 8th Dec 2005, 21:39, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

obligatory Dick joke
There's a bloke at home watching telly, all of a sudden his knob falls off. In a frenzy of panic, he throws it into a convenient paper bag and sets off for the Doctors. He get's to the Doctors surgery, runs up the stairs, boots the door open and screams: "Doctor, Doctor, my dick's fallen off", and hands the Doctor the paper bag. The Doctor pulls out the object in the paper bag; looks at it for several seconds then says: "I'm sorry, but this sin't a Dick, it's a Coconut Mushroom". To which the man replies: "it can't be - I eat that coming up the stairs"

yadda da dah dahhhhh, da da dah !
(Thu 8th Dec 2005, 21:49, More)
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