Profile for inkworm:
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- a member for 20 years, 6 months and 18 days
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- (of which 1 have appeared on the front page)
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- has posted 14 stories and 1 replies on question of the week
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Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
» Ignoring Instructions
friends do know best
A couple of times I should have listened to the instructions of mates to stay away from some bird, but when pissed who knows best?
Not me thats for sure, took about 6 months to escape one of them and that was after breaking the cardinal rule of never ever ever sleep with a housemate, at the beginning of term then having to put up with the dozy cow for the rest of the year.
Oh and done the one about not opening a radiator cap especially after a 950 fiesta was doing over 100 on the M6, face looked like freddie kruger for about a month afterwards and can still taste the shitty radiator water ten years later.
Don't run with your hands in your pockets said my parents when I was about 6, fine but my hands were cold and the inevitable trip led to a cracked skull, still I've never done that one since!
(Fri 5th May 2006, 10:36, More)
friends do know best
A couple of times I should have listened to the instructions of mates to stay away from some bird, but when pissed who knows best?
Not me thats for sure, took about 6 months to escape one of them and that was after breaking the cardinal rule of never ever ever sleep with a housemate, at the beginning of term then having to put up with the dozy cow for the rest of the year.
Oh and done the one about not opening a radiator cap especially after a 950 fiesta was doing over 100 on the M6, face looked like freddie kruger for about a month afterwards and can still taste the shitty radiator water ten years later.
Don't run with your hands in your pockets said my parents when I was about 6, fine but my hands were cold and the inevitable trip led to a cracked skull, still I've never done that one since!
(Fri 5th May 2006, 10:36, More)
» My Wanking Disasters
Something about Mary
And the hair gel incident really is based on true life.
During my first year at uni we were in halls, usual affair but one bloke who was in my flat was known for beating one off in the shower, it wasn't just pubes he left in there, the old white stuff was found on more than one occasion.
The usual ritual of shit shower and shave took place as the prequel to a night out and as we were heading out his hair had a glisten that wasn't right.
Kept quiet until we reached the uni bar and then in front of the ladies he was trying to impress asked if he was aware of the spunk in the hair.
For some reason he stopped after that!
(Wed 2nd Jun 2004, 23:25, More)
Something about Mary
And the hair gel incident really is based on true life.
During my first year at uni we were in halls, usual affair but one bloke who was in my flat was known for beating one off in the shower, it wasn't just pubes he left in there, the old white stuff was found on more than one occasion.
The usual ritual of shit shower and shave took place as the prequel to a night out and as we were heading out his hair had a glisten that wasn't right.
Kept quiet until we reached the uni bar and then in front of the ladies he was trying to impress asked if he was aware of the spunk in the hair.
For some reason he stopped after that!
(Wed 2nd Jun 2004, 23:25, More)
» Terrible Parenting
Nice to know the truth
My childhood was fairly crap, dad was train spotter so weekend afternoons were spent waiting in a cold wet field waiting for some pile of crap. Not as bad as the arguments we would hear coming from the neighbours of a friend where a lad about the same age lived.
I can still remember those nice summer evenings when we were pissing about and a scream 'we never wanted you, you little fucker, you were an accident'
(Fri 17th Aug 2007, 16:07, More)
Nice to know the truth
My childhood was fairly crap, dad was train spotter so weekend afternoons were spent waiting in a cold wet field waiting for some pile of crap. Not as bad as the arguments we would hear coming from the neighbours of a friend where a lad about the same age lived.
I can still remember those nice summer evenings when we were pissing about and a scream 'we never wanted you, you little fucker, you were an accident'
(Fri 17th Aug 2007, 16:07, More)
» Unexpected Good Fortune
Had to work for it..
But was approached to do some odd days here and there for a company and was told that after tax it would be £180 per day, that's not bad going really for me, after a pause and sharp intake of breath as I was impressed they took that to mean I wanted way more, then offered £250 per day (about half 9-4 with lots of breaks).
(Fri 15th Sep 2006, 15:31, More)
Had to work for it..
But was approached to do some odd days here and there for a company and was told that after tax it would be £180 per day, that's not bad going really for me, after a pause and sharp intake of breath as I was impressed they took that to mean I wanted way more, then offered £250 per day (about half 9-4 with lots of breaks).
(Fri 15th Sep 2006, 15:31, More)
» Crap meals out
all loved up and no service
On valentines day a few years ago I did the usual taking the missus out for a meal, ok so I'd left it til a couple of days before to book and could only get a table for about 9 and though fair enough a few drinks before would help set the mood.
So after a few drinks we headed to the establishment which was full of couples, now this place was split onto 3 levels so we were very welcome, being put on the top floor with a sort of balcony overlooking the kitchen...after a while someone finally came to take our order and did bring the drinks quickly, always good.
However after about half an hour the starters arived, think I'd ordered some mushroom thing which were very cold, slimey and not what I'd call edible, as for the dough balls, well rubber would be more accurate.
Eventually with the stomach trying to digest itself due to the hunger pangs and me getting increasingly frustrated whilst the missus who is always patient reminding me that it is very busy so to just chill. Plus overlooking the kitchen staff at about 11pm they seemed to be doing sweet f.a. but taunting us with odours of nice food, so I wander off to find someone two floors down and remind them there are customers, another couple near us seemed to be going through the same thing.
They did offer a half bottle of wine to try to calm us which was ok for a few minutes but then the hunger returned.
About an hour or so after we'd intially made the order some rather cold evidently left over pasta arrived which even as a student I'd have turned down but had no option but to eat by this late stage.
Seening as no one could be arsed to clear the plates I then had to go searching for staff again, who then asked if we wanted anything like desert or coffee, if I'd have said yes I would guess we would still be waiting now.
Once the bill had finally arrived, having had to go ask again I was all for refusing to pay and just walk out, however the missus insisted I pay something so putting a whole 50p on the plate with the bill I then had to go back down the bloody stairs, a rather bemused lass looked a bit shocked at it and asked about the rest of the money.
Bearing in mind this was one night when they were fully booked and should have had enough staff on the service was crap to the point of nonexistent, told them how I was trying to impress the lady and that was more than I thought it was worth, she then went to get the manager who didn't really say anything and we walked off, having to laugh about it as it's all you could do.
Stopped for a kebab on the way home and was much more enjoyable.
And the place should you ever fancy going out...
ASK in the centre of Leicester, still there but I'd never go back.
no apologies for length either
(Fri 28th Apr 2006, 11:37, More)
all loved up and no service
On valentines day a few years ago I did the usual taking the missus out for a meal, ok so I'd left it til a couple of days before to book and could only get a table for about 9 and though fair enough a few drinks before would help set the mood.
So after a few drinks we headed to the establishment which was full of couples, now this place was split onto 3 levels so we were very welcome, being put on the top floor with a sort of balcony overlooking the kitchen...after a while someone finally came to take our order and did bring the drinks quickly, always good.
However after about half an hour the starters arived, think I'd ordered some mushroom thing which were very cold, slimey and not what I'd call edible, as for the dough balls, well rubber would be more accurate.
Eventually with the stomach trying to digest itself due to the hunger pangs and me getting increasingly frustrated whilst the missus who is always patient reminding me that it is very busy so to just chill. Plus overlooking the kitchen staff at about 11pm they seemed to be doing sweet f.a. but taunting us with odours of nice food, so I wander off to find someone two floors down and remind them there are customers, another couple near us seemed to be going through the same thing.
They did offer a half bottle of wine to try to calm us which was ok for a few minutes but then the hunger returned.
About an hour or so after we'd intially made the order some rather cold evidently left over pasta arrived which even as a student I'd have turned down but had no option but to eat by this late stage.
Seening as no one could be arsed to clear the plates I then had to go searching for staff again, who then asked if we wanted anything like desert or coffee, if I'd have said yes I would guess we would still be waiting now.
Once the bill had finally arrived, having had to go ask again I was all for refusing to pay and just walk out, however the missus insisted I pay something so putting a whole 50p on the plate with the bill I then had to go back down the bloody stairs, a rather bemused lass looked a bit shocked at it and asked about the rest of the money.
Bearing in mind this was one night when they were fully booked and should have had enough staff on the service was crap to the point of nonexistent, told them how I was trying to impress the lady and that was more than I thought it was worth, she then went to get the manager who didn't really say anything and we walked off, having to laugh about it as it's all you could do.
Stopped for a kebab on the way home and was much more enjoyable.
And the place should you ever fancy going out...
ASK in the centre of Leicester, still there but I'd never go back.
no apologies for length either
(Fri 28th Apr 2006, 11:37, More)