» Your Revenge Stories

Gay Porn
A (ex) friend of mine was really getting on me and my friends nerves when I was in college. He was the typpe of person who hung around even though no-one really liked them. One day, he got really angry for some reason and pushed another of my friends into a bush when we were walking down the street and stormed off.

This guy had quite a posh upbringing, and lived with his (very stuck up) parents.

We wern't going to stand for that, so we went out and bought several hardcore gay porn magazines, and sent them to his home address. The name on the package was addressed to Mr. , and inside was a letter:

"Dear James,
Please find enclosed the material that you asked for, I hope it gives you some ideas for what to do next time we meet up.
Love
Dave"

Without a first name on the package - it was opened by his father. He never knew that it was us, all he told us was tht he couldnt come out any more because he was in a lot of trouble with his parents.

We were all about 17/18 at the time.
(Fri 14th May 2004, 9:17, More)

» Embarrassing Injuries

£50 bet
One night a couple of years ago, I was getting quite drunk at my friends place (as was our custom).

His sister decides to prove a point, and whips out a £50 note from her wallet - how she came across this money I would add, is quite unknown - she then proceeds to tell me that if I wrap the money around my arm and put a lighter on it, my arm will burn before the paper. If she was wrong, and the £50 really did burn, then I could have it.

I was too drunk to realise that a burnt £50 note was completely useless, so I took her up on the bet, and I was going to do everything in my power to win that money.

I put all my willpower into ignoring the pain from the lighter as it slowly barbequeued my arm. I ground my teeth, made manly grunting sounds, and prayed for the first time in my life that money would burn.

Unfortunately, the money did not burn. Even more unfortunately, my arm did. I lasted about a minute, and all I had to show for my endurance was a rather large blister on my arm that adamently refused to dissapear for a good few months. I still have a small scar on my arm a goor 4 years later.

She also reminds me if every time I see her.
(Fri 3rd Sep 2004, 16:57, More)

» Slang Survey

Well...
... I have caught myself using, and getting funny looks for using, the word 'fucksocks' in casual conversation
(Mon 2nd Feb 2004, 10:56, More)

» Local Nutters

Northampton
There are plenty of nutters in Northampton - the most famous one is a woman who wanders the main street and approaches EVERYONE and syas (in broken English) "You spare one pound?". If she doesnt have time to speak to people who practically break into a sprint to get past her quickly, she waves and says hi in her weird accent. Friend of mine claims to have seen her take a dump in the middle of the market square in front of everyone. I dont think she has had a bath or even changed her clothes in over 20 years. Havnt seen her in the last 6 months thank god!

The 'tramp hangout' is the monument near the Pennywhistle/Punch and Judy, all the weirdo's hand out there. Although once when walking through there they called out to me (in their practised street begger accent) "Excuse me mate, can you spare us fifty thoushand quid!" I had to laugh at that one.
(Thu 16th Sep 2004, 17:11, More)