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- a member for 20 years, 5 months and 17 days
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» Clients Are Stupid
I used to work at a local college
I have removed all manner of material from floppy drives. Paper clips, rubbers, student cards and once a credit card from a confused lady who was trying to buy on-line.
My favourite isn't one of mine, but someone who used to work at Doncaster Council.
Client - I've spilt coffee in my bosses keyboard.
IT - Was sugar in it?
Client - no
IT - OK swill some cold water in it, this will remove the coffee - then hang it to dry for the day.
Client - OK I have a sink in the office.
After this, a very irrate manager rang up
"Which nobhead told my secretary to put my laptop in the sink then hang it to dry?"
(Wed 31st Dec 2003, 12:54, More)
I used to work at a local college
I have removed all manner of material from floppy drives. Paper clips, rubbers, student cards and once a credit card from a confused lady who was trying to buy on-line.
My favourite isn't one of mine, but someone who used to work at Doncaster Council.
Client - I've spilt coffee in my bosses keyboard.
IT - Was sugar in it?
Client - no
IT - OK swill some cold water in it, this will remove the coffee - then hang it to dry for the day.
Client - OK I have a sink in the office.
After this, a very irrate manager rang up
"Which nobhead told my secretary to put my laptop in the sink then hang it to dry?"
(Wed 31st Dec 2003, 12:54, More)
» Oldies vs Computers
College employees
many years ago I worked at the local college. Many people really couldn't grasp the whole IT thing, I was sent to remove many things from floppy drives, may favourite being someones visa card (where they trying to buy online, I don't know).
My favourite stort was told to me by an ex council Techie. The story go's that a councillors secretary rings up and tells him that she has spilt coffee into a keyboard. "Has it got sugar in it?" - "No she replies", "Ok then quickly swill it under cold water and let it dry out for a day or so - it should be OK". Two hours later a rather irate councillor rings up and says "which twat told my secretary to swill my latop in the sink?"
(Mon 25th Sep 2006, 13:47, More)
College employees
many years ago I worked at the local college. Many people really couldn't grasp the whole IT thing, I was sent to remove many things from floppy drives, may favourite being someones visa card (where they trying to buy online, I don't know).
My favourite stort was told to me by an ex council Techie. The story go's that a councillors secretary rings up and tells him that she has spilt coffee into a keyboard. "Has it got sugar in it?" - "No she replies", "Ok then quickly swill it under cold water and let it dry out for a day or so - it should be OK". Two hours later a rather irate councillor rings up and says "which twat told my secretary to swill my latop in the sink?"
(Mon 25th Sep 2006, 13:47, More)
» Dad Jokes
Musical Instruments
The father in law told me this one - I recite to my two kids whenever I can.
Whenever there's a guitar solo on the radio, pretend to play a piano The kids will shout "dad, you're supposed to play the guitar", to which I reply "don't be stupid, I can't play the guitar!"
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 17:26, More)
Musical Instruments
The father in law told me this one - I recite to my two kids whenever I can.
Whenever there's a guitar solo on the radio, pretend to play a piano The kids will shout "dad, you're supposed to play the guitar", to which I reply "don't be stupid, I can't play the guitar!"
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 17:26, More)
» Singing the wrong words
Jezuz christ
Superstar, came 'round the corner on a Yamaha
pulled a skid
killed a kid
knocked his knackers on a dustbin lid
(Mon 31st Jan 2005, 16:49, More)
Jezuz christ
Superstar, came 'round the corner on a Yamaha
pulled a skid
killed a kid
knocked his knackers on a dustbin lid
(Mon 31st Jan 2005, 16:49, More)
» Embarrassing Injuries
Tube shenanigans
A mate of mine walked into moving tube train that hadn't quite stopped. It rotated him 360 degrees and rubbed the skin off his cheek!
(Fri 3rd Sep 2004, 12:47, More)
Tube shenanigans
A mate of mine walked into moving tube train that hadn't quite stopped. It rotated him 360 degrees and rubbed the skin off his cheek!
(Fri 3rd Sep 2004, 12:47, More)