» Lies Your Parents Told You

wee sex
when I was about 6, my dad when cornered on the subject of making babies explained it was like "going for a wee" but you did it inside your wife. needless to say this was more confusing than instructive, and led to plenty of playground mocking when I passed on the info at school breaktime.

btw - loads more of this stuff at www.iusedtobelieve.com
(Fri 16th Jan 2004, 13:23, More)

» Slang Survey

cocoa shunter
(yet another) derogatory term for a male homosexual, courtesy of Chris Morris/ Brasseye. it's about 10 years old already but still makes me chuckle.
(Mon 2nd Feb 2004, 16:09, More)

» Booze Related Disasters

double incontinence
is every bit as foul as it sounds. 21st birthday, almost literally blind drunk after a heady cocktail of caffreys, champagne, vodka, bundaberg rum and tequila (not all in the same glass, or at least I don't think so). yes, i soiled myself in the cab on the way home. i woke up on my floor (my mates wouldn't put me in bed for fear I'd roll off and/or die) stinking of shit.
nice, eh?
(Fri 19th Mar 2004, 10:16, More)

» Pet Names

big paws, little paws
and mrs pussy have all been names my mum came up with for our family cats when I was growing up. Oh, and kitten. that one took ages.
(little paws was stolen by some people from up the road when we went on holiday. they lured it with fresh tuna and salmon, as opposed to the whiskas the neighbour was feeding it. thieves. the cat turned into a big fat thing. not that I'm bitter.)
(Wed 25th Feb 2004, 14:33, More)