b3ta.com user blush
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» Clients Are Stupid

working at an ice cream store
when we sold ice cream cakes, we recited the same line every time: "make sure you get it in the freezer within half an hour, and if you have trouble cutting it, run the knife under hot water."

one lady came in on the busiest day of the year (first week of may, baskin robbins has a "free scoop day" with line-ups averaging an hour or more, it's crazy) demanding her money back for an ice cream cake we sold her. it rotted, she said.

she'd kept it in the fridge.
(Mon 29th Dec 2003, 1:27, More)

» Scars with history

childhood experiment
There was a beam across my living room ceiling that was a bit lower than the rest. I wasn't quite tall enough to touch it with my hand when I jumped, so I decided to try touching it with a pencil. A sharpened one. With the eraser end.

I still have a gray dot in the middle of my palm.
(Mon 7th Feb 2005, 9:19, More)

» Singing the wrong words

guns n roses
Rockets in the Balkans, in the cold November rain...

Yes. That is what it sounds like.
(Thu 27th Jan 2005, 20:04, More)

» Embarrassing Injuries

not ME getting hurt
but rather doing the hurting... me and the ex were getting intimate, but i forgot to take off one of my rings first. poor bastard... i drew blood. he didn't want anymore handjobs after that. HA.
(Thu 2nd Sep 2004, 21:22, More)

» Slang Survey

clused
derivative of "closed" pronounced "cloozed" and usually said really fast, sometimes in conjunction with "nu!" (no).

some uses -
"nu nu nu nu nu clused" = no, absolutely not, end of discussion.
in response to a proposition to drink more = "no, i'm drunk enough" or "no, i'm about ready to go to bed"

can also refer to the state of being cut off from the bar, whether voluntarily or no, eg.
"he was overly rowdy last night, so he's clused for a week" or "nah, i'm not feeling well so i'm clused tonight. tomorrow i'll give 'er though."

that reminds me, give 'er (or just giv'r)! if you haven't seen "fubar" go rent it. again, several meanings...

1) drink a lot, as in "whoa, you look like hell this morning." "yeah, i really gave 'er last night."
2) something like "okay, i'm ready" or "go ahead"
3) common thing to say before doing shots somewhat like a toast
4) work really hard

woo for alcoholic kid's camp staff...
(Mon 2nd Feb 2004, 8:00, More)
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