b3ta.com user gristy
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What can be explained about me?
I live in Jersey, between England and France (no, I’m not rich)
I am saving up to get an affordable PC that works
I work for a multinational American Organisation, but it pays ok so its not all bad.

For more on my life at least the old bits I can be bothered to tell, if your really interested, better look at the blog WWW.Toasterfiles.com
We’re useless when it comes to updating, but there have been some crackers on it in the past.

Recent front page messages:


none

Best answers to questions:

» We have to talk

The Second of three messy relationships...
Not really spoken, but written.
For three years, I was seeing a lovely but slightly older lady. We were even living together for the first two and a bit years of that until she had to move to the wonderful lands of Exeter for University (as a mature student). I was unable to move with her at that point and remained an hour north of London. For the next nine months, thing went well. I would visit her for the weekend and she would come back up to me a few weekends later and we would do the things any couple would do if they hadn’t seen each other for a few weeks. We would also write to each other every couple of days (with stamps as the mole people hadn’t dug the tunnels for the interweb to work in Exeter at that time). Anyhoo, the final letter I received started as all others had “Dear John” for that tis my name, “things here are fine” etcetera, It went on for a little while with standard pleasantries until the killer line, “By the way, I got married last week, so it wont be appropriate for us to visit each other any more. Please say hello to your mum for me”… Worse thing, She married a man with the same name as me!
(Fri 20th Apr 2007, 22:28, More)

» We have to talk

The first of three messy relationships...
Two and a half years of fun and (I understood) successful relationship with my partner and one evening I look down at her hand and see a new piece of ornamental metal gartering her finger. Not being the best person at understanding and remembering what finger represents what sort of occasion I simply ask “That’s new, whats that for?”
The classic response came back as I felt a knot forming in my stomach.
“Andy” for that was my best mates name at the time, “proposed to me yesterday.”
“So why the ring?” was my rather slow response.
“well, I accepted. We’re getting married next June.”
Naturally, I had a breakup shag straight afterwards.
(Fri 20th Apr 2007, 22:28, More)

» The last thing that made me cry

Bee spaff juice
"John! Another bloody bumble bee got stuck in my bedroomroom this morning! It was shagging my windchimes and it came all over my boyfriend!"

My sister told me this at 7:40am,
I was crying so much through laughing, I couldnt get into my car to drive to work and ended up being 20 miniutes late.

Then I had to tell my boss why I was late. and she started laughing so much she was crying.

dunno if at me or because of my sister?
(Fri 15th Apr 2005, 13:30, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Another Dead Baby....
Cant believe this hadnt been said in the first fifteen pages at least....


How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of ice cream and one scoop of dead baby.
(Thu 8th Dec 2005, 15:58, More)

» Weird Traditions

Tuesdays
My Ex-girlfriend used to have the tradition of B.J. Tuesdays. Every lunchtime when we popped home, the day lived up to its namesake.
Pity really, it was the only thing that worked in our relationship. nice that she kepped it up untill the end though.
(Fri 29th Jul 2005, 8:24, More)
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