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» My Wanking Disasters
After a strip club one night.....
We were out in the west end one night for one of my little brothers mates 21st. Me and a mate had been making enquiries to see if any of the young chaps had ever been to a strip club before.... It turned out that at the tender age of 21 none of my Brother or his 5-6 mates had ever been to watch naked ladies.
So said mate and I march them off to get an eyefull. We go and sit at the back to watch what happened next.
They got sat down the front of the auditorium right by a pole and were then offerd 3 girls. Which would they choose?? anyway they chose said girl gave her the bunts and she got her kit off. All the time she was doing this the little boys were staring intently....
Anyway leave the strip club to find a Taxi and get our way back to sarf london and we pull into a garage.
I thought this would be a great time for a wind up, so I went and purchased a copy of Men Only (for those not in the know, top quality jazz mag.....not) got back the mates house they chaps caught wind of the fact, one of them knicked if off me and went upstairs to the bog to knock one off, then when he came down another one went up and so on, until they were all spent.
Made me and my mate laugh for weeks
(Thu 3rd Jun 2004, 15:03, More)
After a strip club one night.....
We were out in the west end one night for one of my little brothers mates 21st. Me and a mate had been making enquiries to see if any of the young chaps had ever been to a strip club before.... It turned out that at the tender age of 21 none of my Brother or his 5-6 mates had ever been to watch naked ladies.
So said mate and I march them off to get an eyefull. We go and sit at the back to watch what happened next.
They got sat down the front of the auditorium right by a pole and were then offerd 3 girls. Which would they choose?? anyway they chose said girl gave her the bunts and she got her kit off. All the time she was doing this the little boys were staring intently....
Anyway leave the strip club to find a Taxi and get our way back to sarf london and we pull into a garage.
I thought this would be a great time for a wind up, so I went and purchased a copy of Men Only (for those not in the know, top quality jazz mag.....not) got back the mates house they chaps caught wind of the fact, one of them knicked if off me and went upstairs to the bog to knock one off, then when he came down another one went up and so on, until they were all spent.
Made me and my mate laugh for weeks
(Thu 3rd Jun 2004, 15:03, More)
» Embarrassing Injuries
Drunken wrist breakage.....
I got home from a night out on the town, I was needless to say absolutely twated by this point. I had managed to get myslef into bed and was partaking in the obligatory drunken playstation session when I thought it would be a great idea to go and buy some ciggies(I live about a mile from anywhere btw). So I hauled my ass out of bed got dressed and walked out of my bedroom, only to stumble accross my laundry basket.....
The right hand went out to try and catch my fall, but in my drunkeness I forgot that my arm actually bent at the elbow and proceded to break wrist. At this point I just thought I had sprained it, so off I trotted to the local 24hr garage (over a mile away). Got to the "24 hr" garage and the fucking place was closed. I got out of bed for no bloody reason, didn't have any fags and a chuffin broken wrist.
arse holes and piss flaps.......
(Fri 3rd Sep 2004, 10:24, More)
Drunken wrist breakage.....
I got home from a night out on the town, I was needless to say absolutely twated by this point. I had managed to get myslef into bed and was partaking in the obligatory drunken playstation session when I thought it would be a great idea to go and buy some ciggies(I live about a mile from anywhere btw). So I hauled my ass out of bed got dressed and walked out of my bedroom, only to stumble accross my laundry basket.....
The right hand went out to try and catch my fall, but in my drunkeness I forgot that my arm actually bent at the elbow and proceded to break wrist. At this point I just thought I had sprained it, so off I trotted to the local 24hr garage (over a mile away). Got to the "24 hr" garage and the fucking place was closed. I got out of bed for no bloody reason, didn't have any fags and a chuffin broken wrist.
arse holes and piss flaps.......
(Fri 3rd Sep 2004, 10:24, More)
» Embarrassing Injuries
Another drunken broken wrist story.....
A few years ago a mate of mine was at Cardiff Uni, we went down to see him for the weekend, the usual went on, down the union, get trollied, go for curry.
On our way to the afformentioned curry house when we come accross a large railway bridge, no biggie I hear you say.
Well we walked over the bridge and on the way down the other side one of my mates decides to hurl himself over the rails and he landed on his feet.
Another mate thought this looked so cool that he thought he would try it, mmmmmmmmmmmmm. The only problem was ,that said mate forgot that he had feet and ended up lamping his quite considerable frame plum on the deck.
Injuries sustained - Great big hole in chin, claret everywhere(which the doctors made bigger by digging out more bone - doh), both bones in right wrist broken (not cleanly either, had to have a 3 hour op and pins for 3 months) and he knackered one of his knees.
The moral of the story kids is don't jump off bridges.......
no appologies for length
(Fri 3rd Sep 2004, 11:43, More)
Another drunken broken wrist story.....
A few years ago a mate of mine was at Cardiff Uni, we went down to see him for the weekend, the usual went on, down the union, get trollied, go for curry.
On our way to the afformentioned curry house when we come accross a large railway bridge, no biggie I hear you say.
Well we walked over the bridge and on the way down the other side one of my mates decides to hurl himself over the rails and he landed on his feet.
Another mate thought this looked so cool that he thought he would try it, mmmmmmmmmmmmm. The only problem was ,that said mate forgot that he had feet and ended up lamping his quite considerable frame plum on the deck.
Injuries sustained - Great big hole in chin, claret everywhere(which the doctors made bigger by digging out more bone - doh), both bones in right wrist broken (not cleanly either, had to have a 3 hour op and pins for 3 months) and he knackered one of his knees.
The moral of the story kids is don't jump off bridges.......
no appologies for length
(Fri 3rd Sep 2004, 11:43, More)
» World's Most Hated Food
Another one
Spinach, popeye has a lot to answer for with this one.
If I wanted to add that much metal into my bloodstream I would drink copious amounts of guiness.
This stuff tastes like it is full of iron and because you can't digest it properly makes your poo's all stringy and claggy.
spinach in my experience is the no. 1 cause of Winnets/claggers.
Urrrgh hate the stuff
(Thu 15th Jul 2004, 13:40, More)
Another one
Spinach, popeye has a lot to answer for with this one.
If I wanted to add that much metal into my bloodstream I would drink copious amounts of guiness.
This stuff tastes like it is full of iron and because you can't digest it properly makes your poo's all stringy and claggy.
spinach in my experience is the no. 1 cause of Winnets/claggers.
Urrrgh hate the stuff
(Thu 15th Jul 2004, 13:40, More)
» World's Most Hated Food
Semolina
not only does it look like frog spawn, but it also tastes like shit.
Was once forced to eat it by my mum, she stuck it in my mouth (I think I was about 8 at the time) made me swallow this horrible milky goo and I promply regurgated it all over her lap.
Serves you right you silly cow, don't try to get me to eat something I don't LIKE
(Thu 15th Jul 2004, 11:33, More)
Semolina
not only does it look like frog spawn, but it also tastes like shit.
Was once forced to eat it by my mum, she stuck it in my mouth (I think I was about 8 at the time) made me swallow this horrible milky goo and I promply regurgated it all over her lap.
Serves you right you silly cow, don't try to get me to eat something I don't LIKE
(Thu 15th Jul 2004, 11:33, More)