» Shame

Not really a funny one, so 'pologies
I reckon theres something wrong with my humanity. Something seriously wrong.

1) Princess Di died. Felt nothing, complained to parents that the children's TV wasnt on.
2) Jill Dando died. Despite watching her on Holiday for ages, felt nothing.
3) Queen Mother. Same.

Fair enough, you might think - Im not one for celebrity anyway. But...

4) 9/11. Heard about the attack while on the bus on the way home, my first thought being something along the lines of "Ooh, somethings happened thats like a movie!"

5) Went to Auschwitz. Yes, the concentration camp. Felt absolutely nothing for any of the victims, except for slight nausea at a room of human hair. Actually thought the place was beautiful under the 2ft of snow that had fallen, and took hundreds of pictures while many didnt take a single one as a mark of respect. Then lied when I was asked about how Id felt. I even took photos in the gas chamber for gods sake. And I still have no problems whatsoever talking about it.

I would just like to add here that I am NOT a Nazi, and hate them with every bone in my body. Thats one thing that I do actually feel strongly about. I guess I find macabre and horrifying things interesting rather than, well, horrifying. I really do feel ashamed that I lack emotion on many of these things, but there seems nothing I can do about it and frankly, Id rather not get emotionally involved anyway.

I should go into forensics. Or become a serial killer.
(Thu 24th Nov 2005, 20:33, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Probably been said - havent looked
Whats the similarity between a woman and a KFC mega bucket?

You start on the leg, move on to the breast and at the end of the evening youve got a greasy box to put your bone in.
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 13:51, More)

» Embarrassing Injuries

Ooh, just remembered another one
Not me this time, but involves my cousins. I was probably there, but would have been all of 4 or 5. We were all at my nan's house, playing some kind of game involving dying (probably cowboys and indians). My cousin alister dies (he is about 7/8 at the time), and lies down. Unfortunately for him, little cousin Richard was about 2, and didnt understand this kind of death. He knew the general jist though, so to make sure he had snuffed it he dropped a brick on poor alister's head.

No long term damage though :)
(Mon 6th Sep 2004, 22:16, More)

» Teenage Poetry

This QOTW is an emo kid's dream!
Not sure if this counts as poetry, but I did write a song in one particularly depressed moment. Its not very good. So, without further ado, I give you Always Something Else.

Life is never easy
As it goes on day by day
Often never good enough
And the good bits never stay

And people often tell me
They are right and I am wrong
But if they only knew me
They’d know why my cheer has gone

And I know, yes I know
But nothing’s ever easy
There’s always something else
Causing troubles on the way

Yeah I know, oh I know
That time stands still for no man
There’s always something else
I should really, really say

Have you ever noticed
How the stretch of life drags on
What once did seem a simple task
Becomes a complex one

You’d think that with experience
Everything would be OK
Problems come and problems go
But they never go away

And I know, yes I know
But nothing’s ever easy
There’s always something else
Causing problems on the way

Yeah I know, oh I know
That time stands still for no man
There’s always something else
I should really, really say

**Instrumental**

Things that come between us
Can tear us both apart
Is it worth repairing
What will only break our hearts?

Oh I know what I know
Nothing can ever change that
But there’s always something else
Always something else
To take my joy away.


Cripes. And that was only last year.
(Thu 11th Aug 2005, 15:05, More)

» Childhood bad taste

Hmm... been said by many, but here goes:
1) Black socks with shorts (too young to notice it looked poor)
2) First album bought: The Smurfs Go Pop!
3) First single bought: Bablyon Zoo's 'Spaceman' (either that, or Jacko's 'Earth Song', which I loved for about a week and used to wail to)
4) Bought the Hamster Dance (dic-a-dee-da-ba-da-do-do)
5) First CD: Eiffel 65: Blue (Da Ba Dee)
6) Our family had 2 copies of the Spice Girls: Spice!, and I used to sing along to Viva Forever (its still a great song)
7) Never told anyone this... used to love playing with Barbie dolls when I was around 4ish. Got a camper van for xmas once, it was pink and I was overjoyed! (I'm a guy)
8) Not sure if this counts as bad taste... but I loved toy cars, and used to hold one up against the window when we were in the car. It looked as if it was really going!
9) Until 2 years ago (ie age 15) I didnt care what my hair looked like. 15 and still going to school with bed hair... shocking. I only started gelling it when I got a girlfriend, but that didnt make me start caring what I wore. Oh, how I've learned...
EDIT: 10) Oh yeah - had a Thunderbirds costume. Hat and all. But thats not bad taste, it was Virgil's one and Thunderbirds will never not be cool.
11) Aaaaand got my mum to make me an Aladdin costume for my... ooh... 7th birthday? Was it that long ago? Anyway, it was poor. And I did not look attractive in it. At all.
12) And another one... when Toy Story came out, I was lucky enough to get the big toys of both Buzz and Woody. I bought woody first, and got my mum to make a jacket for him. It was great - fitted him perfectly, tassles, leather effect... stonking. But what did I do? Took him to school, jacket and all, and insisted my teacher make an exercise book for him. What a nob I was!

Wow, that was good to get off my chest. Apologise for length? Nah, you know you love it
(Sat 11th Dec 2004, 21:56, More)