b3ta.com user once_upon_a_time
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» Shoplifting

Not really shoplifting....
so much as easter fair lifting.

When I was just starting out at primary school, I had only a vague understanding of tombolas - I watched people buy their tickets and then take a prize. Now I quite fancied the look of the big easter egg on the table in front of the barrel.
I go forth, buy a ticket, and then pick up the easter egg on the table. I didn't win it, I just paid the 10p for the raffle ticket, and walked off with the egg.
The weirdest thing was that nobody stopped me! No consequences, nothing. What an example! :-)

So that was my first stealing experience! 4 years old - my parents must be so proud.
(Thu 10th Jan 2008, 16:32, More)

» Mistaken Identity

Not me, but a good friend of mine
looks the spitting image of her mother at her age.

She was walking through heathrow airport, when she caught the eye of a man, who was giving her a very strange look and all the colour had drained from his face. Unnerved, she grabbed her mum and alerted her to the situation. Her mother recognised the man - it turned out that they went to secondary school together, and upon spotting my friend thought that he'd experienced some weird time loop or something similar - explaining the lack of colour in his face!
(Sat 2nd Jun 2007, 20:09, More)

» Unexpected Good Fortune

During early summer this year I'd reached the point where I really wanted wheels. I saved up, applied for a driving licence, booked CBT and bought a whole load of motorcycle gear. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough to pay for the prospective moped, and didn't even have my eye on any particular one for that matter. My dad and I frequently checked ebay for local good deals. I'd point out to him the ones I liked the look of, or cheap ones, and he'd point out the pros and cons, email the seller and ask for specifics.

So, may comes, exams start, and mopeds get ignored in favour of revision. One fine summer's day, after acing a science exam, I return home to find my dad in the living room with a big grin on his face, and he calls me to the computer. Pointing to a picture of a moped, he says: "See that moped? That's yours!"

Fantastic day! :-)
(Fri 15th Sep 2006, 15:59, More)

» Child Labour

I made a website for a band a couple of years back (14 or 15).
Happened to be my dad's band. I wouldn't have minded the lack of pay (I did get a new PC for it though...) if I hadn't been fucked around quite so much.
Made the website, and the band thought it was alright, made a few suggestions etc. Then the sort-of manager said it was all good but had a techie friend who would do it for them.

6 months later, still no new website. So I stuck mine online again. For a few months, the site went really well - looked rather professional for a beginner, and it was all in working order. I was even preparing some nifty features (forum, guestbook, etc).

So, website's looking good, band is getting successful, cue an interview on the Radio - and a mention of the website I slaved over for pretty much nothing. I was very proud, and so was my dad. All of a sudden, the night before the interview, the lead singer changes the spelling of her name. So, I have to edit every single page that had her name on.
Then, after the interview, she tells the radio station to cut the mention of the site, because "it's not finished". Not finished?!?!? I was furious - didn't do anything about it though, cause I didn't have the nerve. I left the website online and abandoned it. After taking off all the upcoming gigs.

Not long after, the band broke up. Shame, because it was a really good band, but that's the last time I write a website for someone without getting payed. (There are rumours of said band getting back together though - so I may keep working on the website, but this time they pay me.....)

(Fri 17th Feb 2006, 15:50, More)

» I don't understand the attraction

The BMW 1200 GS
Now, anyone reading this will instantly know who I am as I seem to be the only person in the world who doesn't like them.

I should probably start of by saying that I'm an avid biker and I've ridden motorbikes for years. I love them, I think they're sexy as hell and really good fun.

However, everything the BMW GS 1200 is, everything it represents, the crowd that follow it, really leaves me cold.
It's ugly - it's probably the only motorbike I've ever seen that's been designed to look like someone's taken an elephant to a motocross bike, and then strategically melted little bobbles of plastic over inappropriate places for an abstract artistic effect. It's looks are not logical, nor are they sexy. About what you'd expect from a german company.

In fact, it doesn't even sound that nice - just sounds like a commuter 125 with the pitch dropped a couple of semitones. It's underpowered for a 1200. It's just not attractive.

Aha, I hear you say, but wasn't it designed to go around the world?
Perhaps, but you can take a lot of bikes around the world - and the 1150GS was the one that went around the world (barely - anyone who saw it watched one of the frames break). The 1200 went on the african journey. This also doesn't explain the popularity amoungst the stupid city commuters in London who ride all the way from Balham to Bank on their pristine 58 plate BMW 1200 GSs, only to return it to the safety of their garage in the evenings.

And why is it so popular? Because two actors took this motorbike through africa. Oh wow, you saw it on TV and now you want to buy it because you think it's the most reliable bike in the world. Anyone who's ever ridden a Yamaha Diversion or a Suzuki Bandit would have something to say to that! Bunch of conformists - the people that own them should learn to think for themselves.

Oh, and one more thing - it's really really ugly.
(Sun 18th Oct 2009, 20:45, More)
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