Profile for Rata-tat-atouille:
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- a member for 21 years, 0 months and 13 days
- has posted 1 messages on the main board
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
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- has posted 17 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 0 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 153 qotw answers.
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» Shoddy Presents
Half a dead rabbit...
...generously left for me by my cat.
(Or was it half a rat? Guts of something...Yuk). Crap present.
Stupid cat. I wanted a Playstation.
Edit: plus side - no 'thankyou' letter required as cat can't read.
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 13:09, More)
Half a dead rabbit...
...generously left for me by my cat.
(Or was it half a rat? Guts of something...Yuk). Crap present.
Stupid cat. I wanted a Playstation.
Edit: plus side - no 'thankyou' letter required as cat can't read.
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 13:09, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
What's black and loud?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 13:41, More)
What's black and loud?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 13:41, More)
» Guilty Pleasures
Guilty Pleasures?
The 6 year old in my basement...
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 13:56, More)
Guilty Pleasures?
The 6 year old in my basement...
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 13:56, More)
» Guilty Pleasures
Telling shit jokes
...that aren't mine.
e.g. What's blue and fucks grannies? Me in my lucky blue coat etc
Can't help it..sad what we do for kicks!
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 13:55, More)
Telling shit jokes
...that aren't mine.
e.g. What's blue and fucks grannies? Me in my lucky blue coat etc
Can't help it..sad what we do for kicks!
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 13:55, More)
» Embarrassing Injuries
Wasp knob, nose smash, baggy balls
...separate incidents, all v distressing nonetheless.
Age 3, I was running around the garden and needed a wee, so popped out the peg to take a slash on a rose plant or something. Then a wasp appears, so I pee on him. He gets angry. He stings me on my winky. Right on the very end of my winky. Yowzer! I yelped, screamed, cried, sobbed all the way to hospital, where about a zillion doctors came to look at me like a freak show. Bastards. It went down and its ok now.
Aged 18, post exam celebration holiday, got massively drunk on the way out to Spain, where it was going out time when we got there. We didn't absolutley need more drinks at that stage you see, but first day of the holiday, what are you going to do? On returning to the accomodation some bright spark though we might go swimming, so we donned our trunks and headed to the *unlit* pool. Feeling pretty pleased (drunk) I jumped up and dived straight down - terrific pencil dive - into the pool. The shallow end. Hands slap the bottom, face follows -thunk- broken nose, blood everywhere. Nasty.
Following bleeding everywhere I was put to bed with tissue in my nose and woke up the next day naked with a morning glory - and my "mates" took pictures of me in this fine state which everyone has now seen. Girlfriends' mothers, grannys etc. Bastards. (The shame!)
A year or two back I had a motorbike accident - dumb bint pulled out in front of me and I slammed in the side of her car.
Going 20mph-0 in 5cm taking the brunt through the petrol tank into the nad sack leads to considerable swelling then saggyness. I had port wine coloured bruised balls for a fortnight. Not good for pulling!
(Thu 9th Sep 2004, 13:08, More)
Wasp knob, nose smash, baggy balls
...separate incidents, all v distressing nonetheless.
Age 3, I was running around the garden and needed a wee, so popped out the peg to take a slash on a rose plant or something. Then a wasp appears, so I pee on him. He gets angry. He stings me on my winky. Right on the very end of my winky. Yowzer! I yelped, screamed, cried, sobbed all the way to hospital, where about a zillion doctors came to look at me like a freak show. Bastards. It went down and its ok now.
Aged 18, post exam celebration holiday, got massively drunk on the way out to Spain, where it was going out time when we got there. We didn't absolutley need more drinks at that stage you see, but first day of the holiday, what are you going to do? On returning to the accomodation some bright spark though we might go swimming, so we donned our trunks and headed to the *unlit* pool. Feeling pretty pleased (drunk) I jumped up and dived straight down - terrific pencil dive - into the pool. The shallow end. Hands slap the bottom, face follows -thunk- broken nose, blood everywhere. Nasty.
Following bleeding everywhere I was put to bed with tissue in my nose and woke up the next day naked with a morning glory - and my "mates" took pictures of me in this fine state which everyone has now seen. Girlfriends' mothers, grannys etc. Bastards. (The shame!)
A year or two back I had a motorbike accident - dumb bint pulled out in front of me and I slammed in the side of her car.
Going 20mph-0 in 5cm taking the brunt through the petrol tank into the nad sack leads to considerable swelling then saggyness. I had port wine coloured bruised balls for a fortnight. Not good for pulling!
(Thu 9th Sep 2004, 13:08, More)