b3ta.com user cowcat
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I'm from California. Yippee! ...and DEATH.

And here we have me posing for what was to be a week of the board making fools of themselves

It's not my fault time never stops. Thank you Joe Scaramanga for this club badge. I wear it with honor, and flannel.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» World's Sickest Joke

Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One turns to the other and says,
Something taste funny?
(Thu 9th Sep 2004, 18:10, More)

» Booze Related Disasters

One night at Stanford university
A friend and I found a bottle of wine in a dumbwaiter. We drank it. Then we went for a ride on a tandem bike that belonged to a blind friend. But we crashed it into a creek and then rode down the highway going the wrong direction. The police stopped us, and when we told them we were borrowing it from a blind girl, they simply could not cope, and let us go.
(Fri 19th Mar 2004, 3:12, More)

» Lucky Escapes

Narrow miss with a tree
I was renting a room in a house in the mountains. The garage was above the house on a steep slope. When I moved in, I noticed a big redwood tree against the garage. I don't know why I paid attention to it. In the winter of '83 we had a storm that was so furious that I was driving along, and signs were snapping off on the side of the road. Power was out for a week. I decided to stay at the house while the smart roommates left. I was done goofing around with my Norton in the garage, and was walking down the slope to the house. Something was happening that I didn't know about until I walked in the front door and looked out a tiny window it had. Suddenly the whole house shook violently, and that window turned green. Big branches were poking through the ceiling. That tree had been falling as I was walking to the house. I'd have been impaled by huge branches had I not gotten inside when I did. Actually I did die, and I'm typing this from hell.
(Mon 8th Jul 2013, 23:00, More)

» Destruction, Demolition and Deconstruction

It was a Pontiac Tempest. They had bought it just to destroy it. We threw dimes and ball bearings into the carburetor, and listened to them flying around in the cylinders. Forward, reverse, over and over at high throttle. Finally, after a day of fun, and not being satisfied my friends were really into total destruction, Mark and I brought a can of gas out to the school parking lot where the Tempest was parked. I poured in a couple of gallons, and struck a lighter. I had no previous experience with large quantities of gasoline. There was a pretty good wall of fire that blasted at my face. That's about the time when we began running. I had no idea cars were so flammable. It wasn't long before a series of sirens were heard racing down the street. The next morning the cops showed up at the house. I guess someone pointed in our direction when asked who might have done it. Well, when asked if we did it, I, knowing that my eyebrows were well singed, said we had not. I also added that we had been barbequing. I think the only thing that saved me was the fact that the cop was one of the trumpet players in the high school band. He played third, and I was first chair. So he must have had some respect for me. Another narrow escape from the state penitentiary.
(Thu 8th Nov 2012, 17:34, More)

» Bad Smells

Flea market wall of stench
We were walking along when we noticed people acting weird. After a few moments we realized what was going on. It wasn't just weird; people were puking. There was a putrid stench coming from something, somewhere, that was so vile and so powerful that it took everything I had to try and get away without barfing. It was like a million portapotties all tipped over at once right at one's feet. We never did figure out what it was.
(Mon 20th Jan 2014, 22:15, More)
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