» Embarrassing Injuries

yeah this is sad.
i'm so accident prone

i was walking down a flight of outdoor stairs at my college looking down at a magazine and something hit me in the back and knocked me the rest of the way down the stairs
i thought it was a frisbee or a football or something because a lot of people will play out there durring classes... so i look around and i see a bird that had a broken wing.

it had broken it when it flew down and hit me.


i was once trying to swim from one side of a pool to the other without coming up for air.
a little over halfway i open my eyes and see the wall about 10 feet away so i push off the bottem really hard only to discover that the wall was about 3 feet away and i gave myself a concussion and a broken nose from hitting the wall of the pool.


i was playing a game of tag with my friends when i was little and the guy that was it was chasing me around the yard and i see an open doorway
i make a mad dash and end up smacking into the plate glass sliding door so hard it cracks
i had another broken nose and another concussion

i was playing tetherball and i was swinging the ball and my thumb got caught on the ball and i ended up smashing it into the pole breaking it
2 weeks later it had healed up and i was sleeping and somehow stuck my thumb between the wall and my bed and i rolled over and rebroke it
2 weeks later i rebroke it again playing tetherball again.
2 weeks later my little sister rebroke it by shutting it in the car door on accident

ummmm

i'm a springboard and platform diving and i have broken my own nose twice from hitting myself when i hit the water

i once broke my pointer finger on the bottem of the pool on my last warmup dive before a major competition and i had to scratch from the competition.

i was playing football and the ball rolled away from the rest of the field and i was chasing it down and my coach called to me so i turned to look at him while i was running and ended up falling into a 3x5 wide and 6 foot deep hole that they had dug next to field to repair the sprinklers.
one minute i was there. the next down at the bottem of the hole

and last but not least i think

i was playing football and i weigh about 120 pounds and some girl that weighed about 280 tackled me.
she did a flying leap and landed on my back throwing me down flat and my coach that was standing about 15 yards away heard my three ribs break.
i had to lay with her on my back for about 30 minutes until an ambulance could come and get her off of me because they were afraid if she rolled of of me she might make a rib turn and puncture a lung
it was horrid


i think that's it

i'm so accident prone
(Mon 6th Sep 2004, 5:59, More)

» Injured Siblings

wow i have a lot
my older sister and i would tie up our little sister a lot.
this included tying her to the basketball pole with jump ropes and leaving her there for hours until our mother would come up and find her there.
tying her into the bed of the little red wagon and push her down the driveway and leave her in the middle of the street on her back in the texas heat for hours until mom would come home.
we also got really good at shoving her into cabinents and leaving her there for.. yeah hours.

we also learned a neat trick of tying her upside down by her ankles to an open door. she wasn't strong enough to pick herself up off the doorknob. and when she was able to lift herself up the door would swing and smack her in the back and she would go limp
while my sister and i would lay in the living room watching cartoons listening to
*smack* cry ...pause...*smack* cry.... pause

eventually my little sister wised up to us. and with the unfortunate gift of a baton from our parents for christmas,she soon began extracting revenge on us in the form of bruises and broken fingers and a near miss of a broken nose.

there was also the time we were leaving a restuarant and my little sister and i were racing for the car to get the front seat. and i intentially grabbed her shoulder and expertly took her ankles out from under her being the footie player that i am.. and promptly dive bombed her into the concrete. she slid about 5 yards on her face and stomach before coming to a complete stop.

as for my older sister.. i only really got her good once.
my grandmother had a small chest in her hallway.. and by small i mean it was about 2feet X 2feet X 2feet
and i told her to climb in and lets see if she fit. so she did and we closed it. and i hit the latch and locked her in. and walked into the living room. she sat cramped into this tiny space for about 2 hours until she woke up my mom who was sleeping in the bedroom next to the chest by rocking and making the chest hit the wall.
i got into so much troule for that and to this day she has back problems because of it

woo.
sorry for the longness
(Fri 19th Aug 2005, 5:49, More)

» Toilets

hahahha
one night while at university in London

i was minding my own business while reading a book and laying on my bed
and my roomie was laying in her bed across the room.

well she gets up and walks out of the room carrying a book with her.

about 15/20 minutes later she comes back and she's laughing sooo hard and proceeds to tell me this story:

she starts out by saying that she is a bathroom reader
hahah rock on.

and well she finished using the restroom and she looks to wipe her ass and she sees that there is no toilet paper.

At this point she looks at me in all seriousness and says 'i couldn't just pull my pants up skylar. i had a crappy ass' (in a cuban accent)

so she leaves the toilet stall.. with her pants around her ankles to the nearby shower stall.
where she calmly undresses.. and puts her clothes over the side of the door and puts the book on the floor outside the shower

and she proceeds to wash herself in the shower.. using triple clean foaming face cleanser (which she had taken with her to wash her face before coming back to the room)


and she puts her pj pants and t-shirt back on while she was soaking wet because she didn't have a towel and picks up the book from the floor
which somehow got really wet.
and comes walking back into the room to tell me

so she tells me all this and i'm dying with laughter so hard i can't breathe


only to realize that she left her undies on the shower door so she runs back over there to get her undies back.

and we had to put the book on the space heater so that it would dry.

i look at her in all seriousness and ask her how she's going to explain to charles that his book got all wet...

to which we both promptly burst in tears of laughter again.
(Tue 6th Sep 2005, 5:50, More)

» People with Stupid Names

ha. this one you have to say out loud to get it
i'm coming out of my lurking.

there was a girl in the class next to me who's name was

nancy ann ceancy
ceancy is pronounce sea-anci

trying saying that really fast

there was also a crystal waters and a
january diamond
(Thu 26th Aug 2004, 20:22, More)

» When animals attack...

bird
i was walking down a flight of stairs at my university
one of those outdoor set of flights that go down a grassy hill
and i was looking down at a magazine.. and i was wearing a red jacket

well something hit me in the back sooo hard i flew forward and did a somersault
proceed to fall down the remaning 13 steps and landed in a crumpled heap on the ground.

i got up thinking some fuckfork had hit me with a footie ball or a frisbee
only to see a giant black bird hopping around on the step

it had hit me so hard in the back it had broken a wing

damn birds.
(Thu 9th Jun 2005, 5:40, More)