b3ta.com user Benny on the Loose;
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Err, well...hmmmm. What can I tell you about me?

Although you're gay, I'm not.

Although I live in the Dirty North, I'm a splendid Southerner. Yes, that's right. Splendid. Not gay.

I like beer & Ms Benny. That's right, Ms Benny. Not Mr Benny, you queen.

That's it. Here's me looking like I've just sat on a cock. Although I haven't, as I'm not ghey.

And here is the lovely Ms Benny. Notice the lack of leather & handle bar moustache. That's right, she is actually a SHE!

And here is me, my Brother & my wife courtesy of Evil Lu (also, not gay despite living in Briton)

Mykeyboy did this after a drunken suggestion at the Reading bash... (he is Gay)

Ladybirds ?




Grammar God!
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!

How grammatically sound are you?
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Are You A Natural B3tan
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I am Plague. Got Me?
Which Horrible Affliction are you?
A Rum and Monkey disease.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very High
Level 7 (Violent)Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Very High

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Rampaging on the tarmac, wielding a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Benny On The Loose! And he gives a mighty howl:

"I'm going to fuck you with such wanton cruelty, you will polymorph into Ronald Reagan!!"

Find out!
Enter username:
Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Benny on the looseitis
Symptoms:tunnel vision, scaly skin, shouting, hand tremors
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:

Are You Damned?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

What Flavour Are You? I am Chocolate Flavoured.I am Chocolate Flavoured.

I am sweet and a little bit naughty. I am one of the few clinically proven aphrodisiacs. Sometimes I can seem a little hard, but show warmth and I soon melt. What Flavour Are You?

I'm Pope Stephen! Hurrah.
Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

I am Jack the Ripper. Come here, my pretty ...
Which Evil Criminal are You?
A Rum and Monkey crime.

:: how jedi are you? ::

Which ABBA member are you ?

This pointless quiz was made by TMO

You are .exe When given proper orders, you execute them flawlessly.  You're familiar to most, and useful to all.
Which File Extension are You?

I am nerdier than 23% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

My Purity Report - Compared to Others
- Lower - - Low - --- Average --- - High - - Higher -
Drug Use:
Report By Wx Plotter. Click Here to get your purity scores!

I am going to die at 74. When are you? Click here to find out!

Which quiz are you ?

This pointless quiz was made by TMO

Your Birthdate: December 7

Born on the 7th day of month gives you a tendency to be something of a perfectionist and makes you more individualistic in many ways.

Your mind is good at deep mental analysis and complicated reasoning.

You are very psychic and sensitive, and you should usually follow your hunches.

You may not take orders too well, so you may want to work alone or in a situation where you can be the boss.

This birthday gives a tendency to be somewhat self-centered and a little stubborn.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

bennyontheloose's Last.fm Weekly Artists Chart

Your results:
You are Iron Man

Iron Man
Green Lantern
The Flash
Wonder Woman
Inventor. Businessman. Genius.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

Which Family Guy Character are You?

You are Lois, you have the makings of a model and are admired by the ENTIRE neighborhood.
Take this quiz!

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My computer geek score is greater than 43% of all people in the world! How do you compare? Click here to find out!

Chunder Monkey
What Kind of Drunk Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» My Wanking Disasters

My mates sister (honest!!) was doing the pathology bit of her medical degree
They had to examine one corpse to determine cause of death. The only clue they had was a large circular exit wound on the top of his shoulder. After much deliberation, the class decided that it was some sort of gunshot wound.

It actually turned out that the gentleman in question had been pleasuring himself, whilst stood on the edge of the bath. No bad thing, but he choose to have the handle of a broom up his bottom at the same time. And was using the shower curtain rail as something to grab hold of for support.

Unfortunately it would appear that shower curtain rails aren't the best 'wanking supports' as it snapped, impaling him upon the broom like a man kebab. And hence the shoulder exit wound.

I hope that's a warning to anyone considering having a wank with a broom up their arse whilst swinging from a shower curtain!!!

Still, you've gotta laugh, eh!
(Tue 1st Jun 2004, 17:44, More)

» My Worst Vomit

Ah.... Happy days indeed.
Some of you may remember the 'Gatzby' nightclub outside of Reading Train station (it's now one of those horrible 'Oz Bars'). Anyway, this was back in my student days, when a couple of pints of strong lager and a few vodkas would be enough for me.

It was my 18th birthday on the evening in question, so the booze was flowing more freely than blood at a Barrymore Pool Party.

It got to about midnight, and realising I needed to chunder, I drunkenly staggered off to the Kazis. En route, I bumped into and fell over a young ladys chair. I knocked her clean out and promptly threw up over her jacket on the back of the chair.

Quickly realising I need to boff again, and with only the crazed determination that posesses the truly drunk, I bravely staggered on to the toilets. Once in there, there was an elderly chap throwing up in to the urinals. Not to be outdone, I joined the one next to him. We decided (unspokenly) that he had won when his false teeth fell out.

It felt like hours had passed, but was probably only minutes before I was escorted outside by bouncers. As we all know, projectile vomiting is hungry work, so I purchased a rancid hotdog from the health risk parked outside the club.

Within seconds the bacteria I'd just ingested needed to make good their escape. Without wishing to publicly embabrass myself, I leant over the nearest wall. The wall was more of a bridge over an entrance to carpark, and parked 30ft below was a nice new shiny Rover 800 (the height of style in those days!).

I had no qualms in letting go of another bucket of sick over the wall, and I'm pleased to report that it was bullseye on the Rover's windscreen / bonnet.

If that was your Rover, then I can only apologise, but in fairness I'm sure a bucket of my stomach soup is now probably worth far more.
(Thu 19th Aug 2004, 21:26, More)

» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

Whilst at a College Lecture,
We were sadly informed that after an emergency bowel removal operation, our Electronics lecturer had sadly passed away. Upset, I leant across to my neighbour and whispered 'Gutted!!!'. Unfortunately, because of my emotional state, it came out as more of a shout. I was, in fairness, sent to Coventry for a month by Students & Lecturers. It's nearly as bad as Hull.
(Wed 21st Apr 2004, 22:59, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

A small girl and a Paedophile are walking through the woods at night.
The little girl starts crying and says 'I don't like it here, these woods are scary at night.'

The Paedophile says, 'Well, it's alright for you. I've got to walk home on my own!'
(Thu 9th Sep 2004, 19:01, More)

» Best Comebacks

My favourite come back to absolutely any insult

'Yeah I know, so am I'....

them: 'You're such a fat twunt'
me: 'Yeah I know, so am I'

The trick is to be noncholant about it, as if you've misheard them. It drives people mad, almost to the point of violence.
(Thu 29th Apr 2004, 22:52, More)
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