» Claims to Fame

David Copperfield`s foot
Reading Viz in a newsagents at LA airport when I noticed Claudia Schiffer standing next to me (like you do). As I turned around to give her a suave smile in the vague hope she`d ask me back to her hotel, I felt something soft and squishy under my foot. Not wanting to look uncool I just ignored it thinking it was a piece of rubbish or worse..

After a couple of minutes of me pretending not to care that I was standing next to a supermodel with my foot potentially in something quite nasty, I finally looked down and saw I was standing on David Copperfield`s shoe.

Don`t know what she saw in him..
(Tue 1st Mar 2005, 7:28, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

How do you know..
.. if your sister`s having a period?
You can taste blood on your dad`s cock.
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 2:37, More)

» Have you ever seen a dead body?

Does Body Worlds count?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_Worlds

If you get the chance go and see it, its fascinating.

Make sure you eat a packet of beef jerky while walking around, it tends to freak people out.
(Fri 29th Feb 2008, 20:30, More)

» Pretentious bollocks

Assahi building in Tokyo
I find this juxtaposition between a quintessential Tokyo landscape and a not insubstantial golden protrusion particularly breathtaking :

picturetokyo.com/images/Tokyo_Japan_Asahi.JPG

Its more commonly known as the "shit-building" .. funnily enough.
(Tue 4th Oct 2005, 8:41, More)

» Toilets

4 year olds
I was in a department store a couple of hours ago when my 4 year old daughter decides to visit the little girls room for a wee, while I hang around outside pretending I`m not hanging around outside a women`s toilet.
Needless to say the wee was in fact a poo, and being only 4 she can`t do that by herself.. cue her shouting "DADDY!! UNCHI! UNCHI!" (Japanese for poo) and me trying to sneak past 2 ladies and a cleaner to get to her cubicle.
We had to hide in there for 5 minutes while a busload of old ladies came in.
(Sun 4th Sep 2005, 15:51, More)