» When I met the parents

Not me, but..
First time Dad took Mum home to meet his parents. Dad's an accountant, and Mum took that to mean that his parents were quite posh, so she was scared shitless. Until they walked through the door and my Nan (all 4 foot 6 of her) said "Sit yer bleedin' self down, and if you want a cup of tea in this 'ouse you need to bleedin' well get it yerself".

Apparently Mum didn't quite know what to do with herself...she's never quite recovered from that one :)
(Mon 23rd May 2005, 14:44, More)

» Strange things you've been paid to do

Burgers, anyone?
I was 14. It was winter. I needed a Saturday job, and my local Wimpy were hiring. 8 hours work, I had to shout orders at the cook (really handy for a shy 14 year old who wouldn't say boo to a goose...) for a while, then they put me out into the shopping centre dressed as Mr Wimpy. The costume stank, I couldn't wear a coat underneath it, and I froze. I did that all bloody day without a single break, then burst into tears when my Dad came to pick me up. He stormed back into the Wimpy, shouted at the manager, and told him I wouldn't be returning. Then he promised to match what they were paying me as pocket money until I got another job. Then he made (hah!) me eat the nice gooey cake he'd just bought himself from Marks and Spencer cos I was bloody starving. I'd not been allowed so much as a mouthful of a drink since breakfast.

My Dad rocks.
(Tue 5th Oct 2004, 14:56, More)

» Birthdays

My 21st
It was 8am on a Monday in September. I had the day off work, but my boyfriend didn't. We shared a car (it was mine, but I let him drive it), so we had decided that I'd go to his house in the morning to take him to work, then I'd have the car all day. Made perfect sense, until my front left tyre blew, sending me careering into a milkfloat. The front left corner of the car was bent into a point, and would have had the eye out of anyone who'd been sitting there. Luckily, this was before I'd picked the bf up*

My beloved Fiesta was a write off. The milkman went on and finished his round - I hadn't broken a single bottle of milk.

*I thought it was lucky at the time. I eventually married him, just in time for him to turn into a complete bastard. We're not married now.
(Mon 12th Dec 2005, 11:16, More)

» The Onosecond

Does IRC count?
One of the IRC channels I frequent has a quote bot - someone says something funny, it gets added, and the bot will quote you at random times. Including when you first join the channel - it picks a random quote containing your nick. One of our regulars is known as a drama queen. One night, we were messing about, and I said something along the lines of "Oh no! I'm turning into *drama queen*". Some bright spark adds it to the quote bot - complete with my nick at the front. We laugh and forget it.

Until six months later when that's the quote picked by the quote bot to use when she joined. That one took some explaining!

I'd apologise for length, but I'm a girl, so that would be odd.
(Thu 26th May 2005, 13:55, More)

» Job Interviews

Damn schools
I was desperate for a job, so I applied for a job in a local school fixing their computers. The "technical test" I had to do was wiring a plug. I failed, but got the job anyway. Been here 4 years now, and I've not had to wire a single plug.

A couple of years later, I wanted to move to another school (best school in the borough...loads more money for the same job). I knnew the interview didn't go well - they clearly already had someone in mind for it and weren't interested in anything I had to say - but I got the rejection letter in the first post the next day. They'd posted it before I even got there for the interview!
(Fri 21st Jan 2005, 12:06, More)