b3ta.com user christopher
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» The Onosecond

Not really my faux pas ...
I had been exchanging emails that definitely found their way into the "flirty" territory with a girl at work for a month or two. She was engaged to someone that wasn't me.

I happen to be moving to a new job, and on my last day I had arranged with a few colleagues to go out for beers post-work. During the course of our daily email exchange I asked her if she was going to be wearing her party frock for the evenings celebrations.

She then asked me what I'd like her to wear(!). So I sent quite a detailed message back with a breakdown of what I think she'd she attire herself in that evening. First line of the next email she sent back reads "I didn't mean underwear cheeky!".

Next thing I know, I get an email from one of the managers who I shall simply call Dan, because that's his name. This message reads "Class!". Below this follows our whole days conversation, including various musing about staff members smelling of wee and all sorts. Lest we forget a good six hours worth of innuendo and general inappropriateness. I open up the offending message and find out the dopey bint has also copied it to one of the directors also named "Dan". Who's a christian.

Apparently, someone called her while she was composing this email and asked her for Director Dan's email - she typed this into the CC bar and first entry is manager Dan. She then types in Dan again and gets the correct entry, relays this to the guy on the phone and doesn't bother deleting them from the CC field.

Kind of glad that was my last day really.

PS. I certainly did engage (er, wrong word) in some extra-curricular activities with her that evening too. Bonus.
(Thu 26th May 2005, 14:21, More)

» Embarrassing Injuries

Not me...
.. but I guy I knew at Uni worked at the pitch 'n' put in Richmond park. After finishing work he found one of those micro-scooter things that the kids were riding around on at the time (allegedly abandoned) which he decided to keep.

He puts said scooter in the boot of his car from where it makes its way into his flat - where he lives alone. A couple of days later the genteman in question has a large scar on his forehead. Upon questioning him about this, it transpires he was in his flat one evening, a little bored. Instead of beating off like any normal guy would, he decides to swing the scooter round and round in the air above his head "really fast" - at which point it makes contact with numpties skull.
(Tue 7th Sep 2004, 11:49, More)