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» Creepy!

Distant (Murdered) Relatives
My grandfather's uncle was in the merchant navy - he travelled around the world quite a bit, seeing various sights, but ended his days in San Francisco, where he was unlucky enough to get caught up in a bar brawl and get stabbed to death by an unknown assailant - the 1900's were rough times!

My grandfather (his nephew) was also in the merchant navy, and again travelled the world, seeing the sights. One day his ship ended up in San Francisco, and knowing his uncle had been here before him, decided to go for a tour of the town (avoiding any rough drinking dens on the advice of the rest of his family).

As is obligatory in San Francisco he went for a tramcar ride. He boarded the tram and took a seat, looking out at the sights of the city. After a few stops a small, elderly gentleman got on the back of the car and made his way down to the front, looking for a seat. As the tram was quite busy my grandfather got up to offer him a seat. On seeing my grandfather the old man turned white as a sheet, screamed, and jumped off the now fast-moving tram and ran off down the street.

There's a strong family resemblance on that side of the family, and while it might have been pure coincidence, its always nice to think that this elderly man, haunted by a murder committed 30 years earlier, suddenly came face-to-face with the ghost of the man he'd killed all those years ago.
(Mon 11th Apr 2011, 12:40, More)

» Starting something you couldn't finish

Pleasing football fans
I was walking home last night in Edinburgh when I bumped into an England fan, drunkenly revelling in the joys of their recent victory.

'Come on England!' - he shouted alcoholically into my face.

I've been trying ever since, but so far I've only managed to cover a small paving slab, and its costing me a fortune in petrol to get down there...
(Thu 24th Jun 2010, 22:49, More)

» Gyms

Gym Induction
I applied to join the gym, and was accepted, but had to go to an induction session. I duly turn up to find 5 or 6 other guys there and an incredibly hot, buxom Swedish girl, who is giving the induction.

She proceeded to work her way round the gym, from machine to machine, contorting herself into all manner of lovely positions, and grunt and sweat her way through each of them, explaining the intricacies of each device. Lovely!

The next day I turned up at the gym, and was just warming up, when a guy came over who I recognised from the intro the day before. After 10 minutes of discussion we discovered that a) we'd both spent the induction watching the hot swedish lass, and b) neither of us had a clue how any of the equipment worked.

I cancelled my membership that afternoon and haven't been back since...
(Thu 9th Jul 2009, 15:47, More)

» Sexual fetishes

Ladies
I have a thing for women. You know, the female of the species - legs, breasts, bum - that kind of thing.

I now feel deeply ashamed for admitting my sick perversions...
(Sun 25th Oct 2009, 8:52, More)

» My Arch-nemesis

Inch-worms
They're arch-nematodes...
(Sun 2nd May 2010, 22:18, More)
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