b3ta.com user Betty Boothroyd's Love custard
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» Customers from Hell

Have "Merkans" any braincells ?
This didn't happen to me, but a story relayed during my residence in the tourist magnet that is Cambridge.
American tourist approaches the official at the gate of Kings College, and wanting to appear all-knowing in front of the rest of the assembled party from across the water asks "Tell me sir, is this building pre-war?"
The official looks at said tourist and with all the wit he could muster replied, " The building sir is pre America !!!"

Job Done
(Sun 7th Sep 2008, 20:04, More)

» Guilty Secrets

one lump or two
whilst with my ex G/f, most mornings I would wake with with "The gift for women kind".However due to offspring pressures and needs, and the usual late rush to get ready for work, she would spurn my advances.So I would end up going downstairs to make the first tea of the day for us both. Some mornings I just had to unload, so ended up making her a cup of PG, one sugar, milk and a large dose of man protien.This went on for over two years. The look on her face as she took that first sip every time, just priceless!!!!
(Sun 2nd Sep 2007, 22:20, More)

» God

Is there a god ?
Click on here for the definative answer

(Thu 19th Mar 2009, 17:03, More)

» Mistaken Identity

It's me darling !
A woman who used to work at the same electronics factory as me many years ago, used to mistake me for her husband; because every wednesday night,she used to let me take her out for a couple of drinks, then shag her senseless in the back of her car !!!!! Result
(Thu 31st May 2007, 19:06, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Sign over the pub
A pub I used to frequent, back in the old town of Stockport, used to be run by Alf, the landlord and his wife (whose name escapes me).Now she was a big,unwashed, unpleasant character, who had no right being any where near food and drink that people were going to consume!
When they left, after some "Fraudulent " cash till activity, they took over another establishment called the "Cow and calf "
Passing the new pub a few weeks later, it hadn't taken the locals long to remove the "C" from calf. Talk about "Ronseal " Spot on !!!!
Only Minor apologies for length .
(Wed 9th May 2007, 13:22, More)
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