b3ta.com user The Great Architect
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Waiting for account to be deleted.
Since 2013...

Recent front page messages:

damn right!

(Tue 14th May 2013, 20:35, More)


(Wed 6th Mar 2013, 14:43, More)


(Thu 6th Oct 2011, 12:27, More)


(Wed 25th May 2011, 14:16, More)

gah!... Could be worse though

(Wed 12th Jan 2011, 21:37, More)


(Thu 23rd Dec 2010, 8:50, More)


(Thu 25th Nov 2010, 12:10, More)

A long time ago, in a parallel galaxy far, far away...

(Tue 28th Sep 2010, 12:16, More)


(Tue 16th Mar 2010, 11:46, More)


(Thu 11th Mar 2010, 9:31, More)


(Thu 19th Nov 2009, 14:53, More)


Click pic for bigger
(Fri 13th Nov 2009, 9:11, More)


(Thu 22nd Oct 2009, 10:04, More)

Have an oldie as well:

(Wed 21st Oct 2009, 23:25, More)

"I ain't phoning no home, sucker"!

(Wed 21st Oct 2009, 11:38, More)

Inspired by the earlier post, and apologies in advance...

(Tue 28th Apr 2009, 14:09, More)


(Wed 8th Apr 2009, 11:39, More)


(Thu 2nd Apr 2009, 12:47, More)


(Thu 5th Mar 2009, 17:32, More)


(Wed 25th Feb 2009, 20:14, More)


(Thu 19th Feb 2009, 12:24, More)


(Mon 29th Dec 2008, 14:57, More)

I noticed another one of those charity ads in the paper this morning

(Tue 2nd Dec 2008, 10:18, More)

"No Mr. Bond, we expect you to buy"..

(Tue 11th Nov 2008, 17:37, More)

There's one way to get people using Banks again...

(Wed 15th Oct 2008, 11:24, More)


(Mon 22nd Sep 2008, 16:36, More)

My Chemist takes the piss with his shelf displays...

(Tue 2nd Sep 2008, 19:37, More)


(Fri 29th Aug 2008, 11:03, More)

I've finally worked out what George Lucas' neck is turning into...

Click pic for bigger
(Tue 19th Aug 2008, 13:45, More)

Bang goes the fairytale after a few years..

(Fri 4th Jul 2008, 20:01, More)

"I remember when..."

(Tue 27th May 2008, 16:41, More)

"How's everything in the pump business"?

Click pic for bigger
(Fri 23rd May 2008, 16:23, More)


(Thu 1st May 2008, 10:56, More)


(Tue 18th Mar 2008, 19:05, More)


(Thu 6th Mar 2008, 8:45, More)

You get 3 hours to solve the Conundrum...

(Wed 20th Feb 2008, 11:47, More)

Expanded (final) version..

(Thu 14th Feb 2008, 19:05, More)

Something silly...

(Tue 1st Jan 2008, 20:18, More)

Jibba Jabba...

Click pic for bigger
(Tue 4th Dec 2007, 13:23, More)

A perfect gift for the family this Christmas...

Click pic for bigger and better
(Thu 22nd Nov 2007, 12:29, More)


Click pic for bigger
(Tue 23rd Oct 2007, 11:28, More)

"I think the Empire got to the droid before we did..."

(Tue 4th Sep 2007, 13:28, More)


(Fri 31st Aug 2007, 11:19, More)


Click pic for bigger
(Mon 13th Aug 2007, 13:25, More)


(Fri 13th Jul 2007, 11:20, More)

Nice to see the Girls haven't lost it after all this time

Click pic for bigger
(Fri 29th Jun 2007, 14:50, More)


(Wed 20th Jun 2007, 21:42, More)

My mind is in silly places today...

Click pic for bigger
(Thu 7th Jun 2007, 11:23, More)

25 days left in England...

Click pic for bigger
(Wed 6th Jun 2007, 11:21, More)


(Mon 4th Jun 2007, 12:36, More)

Is that your 'final' answer, Mr. Tarrant?

Click pic for bigger
(Tue 15th May 2007, 13:17, More)


(Sun 6th May 2007, 11:24, More)


(Tue 24th Apr 2007, 14:22, More)


(Wed 11th Apr 2007, 21:37, More)


(Fri 30th Mar 2007, 12:07, More)


(Wed 21st Mar 2007, 20:17, More)

In a silly mood tonight...

(Sun 18th Mar 2007, 20:52, More)

Perhaps a 'tad' insensitive, Ma'am?

(Mon 26th Feb 2007, 12:01, More)

Perhaps hiring that Nigerian typist wasn't a good idea...

(Tue 20th Feb 2007, 21:54, More)

A Love Story for Valentines Day...

(Wed 14th Feb 2007, 12:14, More)


(Thu 8th Feb 2007, 19:16, More)

They have a Monopoly everywhere else, so....
(Thu 25th Jan 2007, 19:11, More)


(Thu 25th Jan 2007, 9:32, More)


(Fri 12th Jan 2007, 19:52, More)


(Fri 12th Jan 2007, 14:06, More)


(Fri 1st Dec 2006, 12:56, More)


(Wed 29th Nov 2006, 21:53, More)


(Mon 20th Nov 2006, 9:47, More)


(Sun 19th Nov 2006, 17:46, More)

Utility companies stock soars.....

(Fri 6th Oct 2006, 12:38, More)

'Not just there for the useful things in life'...

(Tue 3rd Oct 2006, 21:50, More)


(Sun 24th Sep 2006, 10:27, More)


(Tue 12th Sep 2006, 19:46, More)

The regret in making this set in early, but here it is....

clicky for biggy/more offensive
(Mon 11th Sep 2006, 13:47, More)


(Fri 8th Sep 2006, 12:40, More)


(Sat 29th Jul 2006, 12:16, More)

In retrospect, the second book was a mistake...

(Thu 8th Jun 2006, 12:22, More)


(Mon 22nd May 2006, 13:35, More)


(Fri 5th May 2006, 11:07, More)

If Google ruled 'Middle' Earth...

(Sat 25th Mar 2006, 14:19, More)


(Fri 10th Mar 2006, 16:53, More)


(Fri 10th Mar 2006, 11:37, More)

Calm down Steve!

(Fri 3rd Mar 2006, 20:55, More)


(Fri 24th Feb 2006, 10:17, More)


(Thu 9th Feb 2006, 11:31, More)

..The Back Side is strong with this one...

(Sat 28th Jan 2006, 11:33, More)


(Fri 20th Jan 2006, 10:06, More)


(Tue 10th Jan 2006, 23:06, More)


(Tue 3rd Jan 2006, 14:11, More)

With apologies to Larson...

(Thu 24th Nov 2005, 15:01, More)

"What's that you say Belmo"?

(Thu 20th Oct 2005, 16:11, More)

The living Hell of a Newtons Cradle...

(Sat 15th Oct 2005, 12:39, More)


(Tue 6th Sep 2005, 11:30, More)

Thought this bandwagon had been wrapped up with this...

(Fri 12th Aug 2005, 11:22, More)

Another spin-off series...

(Thu 11th Aug 2005, 20:08, More)


(Wed 10th Aug 2005, 21:09, More)


(Fri 5th Aug 2005, 21:56, More)

It was Phillip that dun it!

(Wed 27th Jul 2005, 16:12, More)

"Big Ends gone mate, & I don't like the look of that Plunger"

(Tue 28th Jun 2005, 15:03, More)

"We could be here a while Darth... Brew"?

(Wed 8th Jun 2005, 15:15, More)

Well, Hellllooooooo...

(Tue 7th Jun 2005, 17:25, More)


Thank you kindly for the FP!
(Tue 31st May 2005, 11:52, More)

"Look-ing for some Hali-but",

"But there is only lots of Ice to find"
(Sat 9th Apr 2005, 18:14, More)

One lump or two?

(Wed 16th Mar 2005, 14:00, More)

The old chestnuts are the best...

(Sun 13th Mar 2005, 13:17, More)

I deserve to be stoned to death for this....

(Sun 20th Feb 2005, 14:18, More)

Apologising for this one in advance...

(Mon 3rd Jan 2005, 17:52, More)

Getting driven to Hull with this one...

(Tue 7th Sep 2004, 19:23, More)

Saturday Night's alright for F-F-F-......

(Sat 4th Sep 2004, 20:24, More)

In a world without guns...

(Tue 31st Aug 2004, 18:27, More)

Best answers to questions:

» What was I thinking?

One occured about 4 hours ago...
I've just had an op to remove a stubborn (and rather sizeable) Kidney Stone this afternoon which involved cameras, hooks and lasers being introduced via the 'gentleman's area', which all went well thankfully. However, when my surgeon (a rather lovely lady probably only a handful of years older than myself) visited me just after coming around in a ward she sat down, asked if I was ok and then said:
"To be honest, it's one of the biggest ones I've seen in a while"

I blame some of the anaesthetic still in my system for immediately replying:

"Thanks, and what about the Kidney Stone"?

She saw the funny side, which was lucky.
(Thu 23rd Sep 2010, 22:20, More)

» Conspiracy theory nutters

Ok, using this as a chance to clear a few things up:
1.) To those who ask, Yes, I am a Freemason.
2.) However, no, I am not part of any 'shadowy elite'.
3.) Evil Satan Worshippers? No, not us. We don't sacrifice Goats. The only reason creatures like Goats got brought into the whole 'evils of masonry' thing pursued by the anti-masonry brigade was because the acronym G.O.A.T. is often used in older texts to describe the 'God Of All Things'. The link to Goats is probably where all the 'satanic worhsip' guff started as well. (Look up 'Taxil Hoax' for further info. on that)
4.) And neither do we have anything to do with defiling naked virgins either, though not for want of trying on a Saturday night.
5.) Large amounts of the arguments against freemasonry are usually presented with 'proof' from older texts such as that of Albert Pike in his book 'Morals and Dogma of the Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite of Freemasonry'. This book was published in 1871, yup 138 years ago. I can assure you that modern Freemasonry bears little resemblance to some of the 'assumed' points being made in that text. As with all things, it evolves with time to suit the time.
6.) Likewise, although we do have the handshakes and rolled up trouserlegs, we do not have any obligation to financially benefit other masons as a preference to others.
7.) Such is the modern nature of the organisation, it is made up of many individuals, from every part of the social, financial and political spectrum. When you meet up once a month, we're all on the same level, and it's a nice place to get to know different people well, pretty much in the same way as a Golf Club, a Women's Insitute meeting or similar.
8.) Each of us are prohibited from discussing Politics and Religion during a meeting evening, which would make it extrememly difficult for us to make plans to control the rest of the world's population since these two topics are probably the two most important in establishing any form of control over a population.
9.) Estimating, the average age of the British freemason is seriously pushing 60+. It's very difficult to entertain the notion that some of these people who are also part of the 'higher' degrees could seriously be part of a group in a position to manage and control the world when they can't even manage a bowl of tomato soup at the after meeting meal without spilling two thirds of it down their white shirts.
10.) It's surprisingly open these days, and certainly a world away from the writings of Pike (mentioned above) and the old attitudes that it was a preserve of the rich only. It really isn't. Many lodges often put on an 'open evening' when members of the public can walk in and have a look at a ceremony being performed, many times in full, and get a full Q & A session afterwards.
11.) Now the 'secrets' - Yes, as an organisation there are a few words etc which we don't reveal until someone comes in, but these are very few, and only applicable to the key parts of each ceremony. It really is no biggy. Anyone can become a mason, and as I've said before it's far more difficult to get into a Golf Club than it is to get into Masonry. Golf Clubs often resound with the clattering of many local high flying businessmen making deals, networking on the green, and the chink of money at the 19th hole. Nobody really knows what goes on in the selection process for new members of some of the more 'elite clubs' either, who knows what deals are being made in the safety and privacy of the clubhouse. See, when a spin is put on something like a golf club, they can sound sinister, which is exactly what happened with Freemasonry.
12.) Guided by the Devil? Am I a 'sheeple' Mason, only going along with it as a loyal follower of the higher up satan worshippers as I've been sucked in? No, I'm not ta, but thanks for the suggestion. I am a normal chap, with my own opinions, and have the benefit of making my own mind up on the organisation by getting the informaiton on the inside, and doing research into it, and discussing it in great (and accurate) depth. If I didn't like it, I wouldn't do it. I prefer this method of reasoning than relying on 140 year old writings of an organisation which bears no relation to the evolved organisation it is now, and also the endless half arsed and minimally researched ramblings on the internet when any 'opinion' can be stated as fact without full research or citation being given by the armchair avengers.
13.) Essentially, it is not a religion, nor any such part of one. It has never been promoted as one, and never will due to it's inherent belief that each member is entitled to an individual belief in their own god/spiritual progression as they see fit. The word allegory is often used in ceremonies to demonstrate this.
14.) You might remember The Goat. Now, as a few people may know, the Goat and I had a few run ins before he left, but despite our 'conversations' and rather heated differences of opinion on /links at times, he was a great chap for sticking to his guns, and /links was an interesting place for it, if not always the friendliest place because of the long threads. We both acknowledged that we can 'agree to disagree' and a mutual respect was good, and I really do hope he's doing well wherever he now is. Thought it may be nice to see a kind word for him this week, as he may get brought up a fair bit here.
15.) Errr, now, about those naked virgins...

Most of the points above are areas I usually have to cover in pub conversations at the end of a long evening when someone has had a bit too much and questions me on it. Although not necessarily 'nutter's in the strictest sense, it's odd that 'most' people will always start off with the viewpoint that freemasons are inherently bad people when starting a conversation/argument about them, without actually knowing anything.

Still, that's enough rambling. I have trouser legs to iron and a new verse of the Stonecutters song to write.
(Thu 27th Aug 2009, 14:42, More)

» I Quit!

/Steve Jobs resignation letter
(Thu 22nd May 2008, 13:30, More)

» Nativity Plays

Herod! The Musical
Way back in the mists of time, my Primary School adopted a 'new' type of nativity play one year, opting for a production based around one of the stories covered in those 'music for schools' programmes that used to be on Radio 4. Those progarmmes which gave the teacher an hour off every Thursday morning while we all sang along with the radio, reading the words from our little books that accompanied the series and story being broadcast.

The story in question for this year was a nativity based story, but with a twist... It was a 'full on' musical.

Roles were being picked, kids were being 'auditioned' for said roles and I drew the rather short straw as Herod.

Come the day and I was festooned with as much pound shop bling as the school budget would allow to look the part of the King. You name it, I wore it: Tea Towels, gold braid, silver (tin) foil, gold painted cardboard, and I even remember gold tinsel ending up in the costume at some point. I must have looked like Jodie Marsh's christmas tree.

Anyway, with the stage being set in the local old church it eventually got around to my 'solo' piece. Up I step to the platform (the pulpit as it happens) to deliver my rousing song.

And to this day I can still remember the first verse and chorus, which was as follows:

"Things are get-ting desperate,
Don't they know I'm bo-oss,
Ignore these fan-cy ru-mours,
Or it will be your loss..."

Chrous (all)
"They say a new King's been born,
How ridiculous can you get.
Well I've got a trick or two up my sleeve,
'Cause I'm not finished yet".

It took a while to realise I was essentially portraying a glitzy showbiz baby killer. Think the 'John Barrowman' of Baby Killers.

It didn't end there either. At the end of the song, one of the kids (all scripted, you understand) came out from under the pulpit where I was standing and delivered his one and only line to the throng of proud parents assembled...

... "He's after your babies"
(Thu 26th Mar 2009, 18:19, More)

» Food sex

Recreating famous sex scenes from the movies
If you attempt the infamous scene from 'Last Tango in Paris', make sure to go for Country Life Butter...

You'll never put a better bit of butter in your Wife.

/shows age
(Thu 6th Aug 2009, 14:58, More)
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